Dinner at Singing Frog Farm

Over the weekend we visited some very good friends of ours...  they live on a beautiful farm.  Singing Frog Farm.  They do actually farm the land.  In a big way...  organic and non-GMO veggies and herbs and corn galore!  and FLOWERS... oh, the flowers.  You could say Caroline is a florist, but that would be like calling Julia Child a cook or VanGogh a painter...  all true, but not give you the feeling or style. 

Dinner was fantastic!  We ate and talked and laughed as family.  Seating arraignments around the table changed over and over again at the whims of children.  I ate my body weight in tomatoes.  (As any good WV girl would!)

We were having such a good time, I didn't even think to pull out my phone/camera to document the gorgeous scene.  That is until after dinner... as Caroline and I were cleaning up, (as best I could with a bum back - on the road to fast recovery now, thanks to more friends... chiropractic friends!), the husbands and kids had retreated to the beauty of the pond.  Joe came running inside... in all of his first grade grown-upness... "Zoey caught a FISH!"

Holy Cow!  WHAT?!?

Sure enough, my little wonder had caught her first fish!  A blue gill, I think they called it.  It was pretty cool to say the least.

I don't think I've ever been fishing.  I remember casting at Maple Lake.  No hooks.  No bait.  No idea what I was doing. 

So I began to take camera pictures.  As I have said many times before - I'm not a photographer nor do I claim to be one...  But I am happy to catch life's little moments. 

As we stood there and talked and took pictures, Zoey caught ANOTHER fish!  Two fish in less than 10 minutes.  Aaaaand, Caroline brought out fresh peaches and cream to enjoy by the lake!

Brian with Zoey's second fish.

Heaven... 

I have been blessed to have great friends in my life.  As I grow up, I am ever more grateful.  Truly grateful. 



Evan is full of spunk!

Joe is a pro fisherman.
He gave his life vest to Zoey for the night.

What a HAM!  :)

Swinging under the giant tree.

The blondies after dessert!

kindergarten.

9:43 a.m.  :44

 

Time is going.  The day is here.  Today is Zoey's first day of Kindergarten.

  

To say I have mixed emotions is the lamest thing ever.  And totally an understatement.  "Mixed" "Bittersweet" "Conflicted" none capture this twisting in my heart.  This scattering in my brain.  This pit in my stomach.  And, now, piercing pain in my lower back... (however that could simply be my bad desk chair.) ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know I'm not the first or last mother to have an only child that I send off to school.  Right or wrong, I'm not the first or last to have stayed at home and "helicopter" parented for 5 years.  And I know I'm not the first to have considered homeschooling.  But I am me.  This is my blog and my feelings. 

 

I am the first and only me...with the first and only Zoey, a tall child with bright blonde hair and beaming blue eyes.  A child with an impeccable memory.  An empathic being with razor sharp wit.  Zoey is a little girl with an old soul.  She is outgoing and shy all wrapped into one.  She's a five year old with comedic timing and a temper. 

 

Now she's off to school.  A rite of passage in this community.  Smiles all around as we walked to school this morning.

 

Walked.  Down the hill and around the corner.  All of ten minutes at most.  She assured me that as she got older, and as her legs got longer, she will walk faster.  I'm sure she heard me mention that to someone over the summer as we did a trial run of our soon-to-be ritual morning.  I said it only as a cute aside to another adult... How her little legs only go so fast. Precious to me.  I fear she thought that she just didn't have it - wasn't right in some way.  Wasn't big enough or fast enough.  I certainly hope not. 

 

These days she's constantly standing on chairs and things asking how long til she will be "this tall" or "that tall."  We try to guess...  "I think you'll be 8 when you are this tall."  "You might be 14 when you are this tall."  All the while reassuring her (and myself) that the height she is now is perfect.  That she is already TALL.  That she is growing everyday and to enjoy being "this tall" right now.

 

The flowers on our way to school. 
"Look Zoey, purple flowers just for you!"

My sweet tall girl walked confidently to school today.  We passed by a lot of people stopping to say Hi and good luck.  Most thought today was her second day...  they did a staggered start for the Kindergarten classes and she is the second half of the alphabet.  I don't know whether it took the pressure off or not?!  She didn't really know the difference, but I got a buffer from the massive onslaught of kids returning to school.  That and being off of Facebook recently has kept me away from others retellings...  good or bad?!  I don't know.

 

John and I met with her teacher briefly on Tuesday night.  She seems like a very nice lady.  Been teaching for 10 years or so.  Has kids of her own at the school. 

 

The side entrance to school.

Her coat hook and her cubby off to the left behind her.

 

 

The school itself is old and hot and muggy.  John went to the same school 30 years ago.  The lady Zoey will have next year will be the same one John had for first grade (her last year before retirement).  I think everyone is doing the best with what they have, but I can't help think there has to be a better way.  This thought, alongside the idea of having time for myself while she is at school, is what makes my stomach knot up.  Why can I not be able to achieve both: 1. a quality education in an environment where students are comfortable and taught valuable lessons in more than reading and basic math and the ever thrown around "socialization" 2. a time/schedule where I can pursue avenues to keep my mind and heart thriving...?! 

 

I suppose that is what keeps parents moving forward...  actively seeking the best for all involved. 

 

I know Zoey will love school.  I know she will learn.  I know John and I will encourage her and supplement her education/life long learning.  I know that she will develop into her own little person - in a good way.  I know I will find a path of my own that includes all aspects of the massive spinning thoughts in my head.  I know this...  simply because I have to.  That and I have faith. 

 

"Faith," said my friend Christine, "that you've given her the best start you could have and that she'll flourish with the skills and love that have been her foundation."

 



The familiar nervous, but ok, look on her sweet little face. 



 Back at home:

We told Zoey that she couldn't take Bunny to Kindergarten.  We have told her this from the beginning.  She understands, but wanted to make sure Bunny was well set at home.  At HIS school.... So yesterday we made Bunny a school in her room.

 

She added the toys in the window sill just before we left the house....

 

 When she woke up I heard her explaining to her animals that they couldn't go with her to school.  "Because toys aren't allowed at school."  But she reassured them they would be fine and had jobs to do here.  Cat in the Hat is the teacher today. 

 

The light in the middle is to help tell spooky ghost stories at school.
The Pink hippo in the back is to help talk about animals.
There is also a chalkboard and a playground. 

*As always, Bunny is dressed in his day clothes and shoes.  (Aunt Tracy, the orange sweater is only for pajamas these days.)  ;) 

Quotable

"When me and my mom have a baby, I'm gonna be a big sister." -Zoey

Evidentally she said this to John just now...  while they were outside.  She's picking freshly sprouted blooms.  He's prepping the grill.  (He came in to tell me...  "This is a very quotable zoey blog post.")

I suppose this stems from past conversations about siblings and such.  Plus the fact that she wanted to dress up her teddy bear in clothes this afternoon...  so we opened up a box of her old baby clothes in the basement.  Looking at even the tiniest share of what I have held onto... it simply floods my mind.  

First Day of Preschool

 

The day has finally come.  Preschool.  Sweet Zoey is four years old and currently at her first day of preschool. 

 

She woke up early and was dressed and ready to go (complete with backpack on) before 8 a.m.  She was none too pleased that she had to wait four and a half hours!!  :)  We ate breakfast.  Watched a little TV.  Then daddy came back home to surprise her with a little gift.

 

A Princess balloon that says "Daring to Dream" and a little Boots.

John had to take his Dad to Columbus for an appointment and I think he was feeling a bit upset that he'd miss this big milestone. 

 

In order to take up some time, Zoey and I ran a few errands in town (pay the cell bill, grab a smoothie).  When we came home it was time for PBSkids' newest cartoon.  Daniel Tiger's neighborhood.  Yep, Mr. Roger is back in a bit of a different way.... Between phone calls and whatnot, I missed parts of it.  :(  But what I did see...  "Daniel goes to School"  made me well up inside.  Daniel and his friends...  Did you know Lady Elaine grew up and had a daughter named Miss Alaina (sp?)?!  the King is back... and owl too...  The trolley takes the characters around.  The song is what hit home.  ... a bit different...  but Daniel does take off his shoes.....  ::sniff, sniff::

 

We've been looking at Daniel on the internet for some time now, but I never let it sink in how much the story is the same.  Times change, but things basically remain the same....  I'm pretty sure the real Mr. McFeely does the voice at the end....  :)

 

But back to reality...  current reality.  

 

Grandma Joyce stopped by after lunch to say hi and wish Zoey well.  I tried to take some pictures - knowing I wouldn't be able to force myself into the classroom (yes, the teachers allowed parents in... but I didn't want to be 'that' parent... even though I probably should have.  Zoey wouldn't even have noticed and I would have had better pictures.)  I would have liked to have seen where her backpack is hung. ;)

 

The pictures I did get...  well, they are very much Zoey!

 

She said the sun was too bright...  that and she's just not interested in photos.  ;)

The cat looking on....

Hello Kitty and some puffy paint (found in a cabinet somehwere) do just the trick.



Waiting.  This preschool has a very elaborate system of pick up and drop off.  I'm told it streamlines everything once people get used to it.  That and the parking lot is TINY.  :)  Zoey's room is in the basement of the church - off to the right.  See...  Zoey is my lucky number 7!  :)



My sweet girl.  In the car as we waited. 

Zoey was so excited!  She had that calm sense about her, however.  She was determined to show her teacher the Boots toy - I told her she could show it, but leave him in the car...  no toys at school (until show and tell).  "Your school has its own toys - special school toys."  But... Bunny Bun Bun still played stowaway in her backpack...  I'm hoping the teachers leave him in there!  :)  **I'll have to remember to check and make sure he gets home tonight!!

Zoey was so ready.  She got out of the car so fast that I had to remind her to take her backpack... 

:::Now, my nose starts to crinkle/itch... my eyes turn a bit foggy.... as I think, I didn't get to give her a hug.  :(  She was out the door and running...  I had to drive around the corner and across the way to find a damn parking space - in the grass....  by the time I made it back to her classroom, she was seated and playing....


 She's my big girl now. 

 There were many parents and even a Grandma taking pictures - crying.  I tried to grab some shots as she hung her name up on the door...  but everything was blurry.  Her little body hidden around doors, other people.  I never did get to see her name, her backpack...  I don't even know if the teachers found her family photo in her folder.  (Her first "assignment" was to bring a family picture to class...  In true family tradition, we waited until last night to take a picture... in bad light...  with no thought to makeup on Mama, or fancy clothes on any of us...  perfect none the less!  Just us.)

She was so ready.  I know John and I have done a good job preparing her for this next step... 

But, selfishly, I haven't done a thing to prepare myself...  Case in point...  I've been craving TIME.  Time for myself.  Time to get things "done."  Time to be a person - not just a mom or wife.  And what have I done on this my first hours away....  carpel tunnel's got nothing on my computered arms and crooked back!  HA! 

I have about one hour until pick up now...  and still so many options.... I haven't a clue where to start looking for ME.  Perhaps I'll tackle that tomorrow.

"What ELSE makes you happy?"

What a question!

Last night (aka early this morning - like 6 a.m.) Zoey woke up with a tummy ache... and the wee poops.  Digging out the ol' Elmo toilet seat cover, a short time in our bed, a short time with Daddy on the floor in her room, and finally (most likely NOT sleeping) on the couch with  Daddy... she's ok this breakfast time.  Watching Netflix cartoons.  She told me she wasn't feeling well last night, but now she's good.  I said, "That makes me so HAPPY!"  She said, "What else makes you happy?"

And we started to list things that make us happy....  I thought this was a perfect opportunity to write a few down (just my own, because she's now too busy eating cereal and running in place with "Bo on the Go."  A multi-tasker, indeed.)

Hugs from Zoey
Kisses from Daddy
A good cup of coffee
A deep breath of fresh smelling air
The sunshine on a cool day
Fiestaware big handled mugs
Homegrown WV tomatoes
Creating some art that comes out remotely like I had intended...or better
Being in a theatre
Lunchdates with Zoey
Dinnerdates with John
Planning a party
Going to someone else's party
Getting an unexpected letter in the mail
Feeling that my house is clean
This precious being:

and more....

What makes you happy...  right now?!

Zoey's First Haircut!

Today marked a milestone in the Miller household.  Just shy of turning four years old, Miss Zoey got her first haircut.  (I can't say it's the first time scissors have touched her hair anymore... not since she fell in love with bubblegum and have trimmed out a piece or two.)  ;)

Before

 


In the chair!  Look at those curls flowing over!

Carefully cutting curls...

 I made sure to cut and keep many locks of beautiful curls!  I know family members will want one.  Jenna was nice enough to have thought ahead and had many small bags on hand.  I brought a large baggie and some tape, but this way not all of the pieces will have tape on them or we won't have to figure out how to work around it. 

Scared, but calm.

For those of you that really know Zoey, this is obviously her "freaked out, but I'm not going to tell you" face.  She was a total angel in the salon, but I could tell that she wasn't so sure of what she was really doing.  (We have discussed the haircut for months... so she knew the basics.)  She didn't talk much at all, which is another big sign of her uncomfortableness...  that and this face...  I knew she was being a trooper! 

Cut, cut, cut...  Jenna's a perfectionist!  :)

I knew Grandma Joyce would want to be there to watch...

And I scheduled the appointment for around lunchtime - just in case Daddy wanted to see...  He could swing by on his break...  He didn't disappoint!  :)  He showed up right as she sat in the chair, gave us both kisses and smiles and ran back to work.  I don't think his heart could've taken the actual cutting phase. 

Daddy couldn't miss this moment, but couldn't stay to watch either.  "What can I say?!" he says.   I know he's the best Daddy ever!

Zoey's constant companions - Mama and BUNNY!! 

Before cut at the rock fountain across the street from the salon.

After cut.

Jena also convinced Zoey to have a wee braid in the front - to hold the hair out of her eyes.  Hopefully, this means she'll let me do something more than just look at her hair in the future!  Oh, and I know the curls will bounce back after we wash it!  (Proven by bubblegum removal cut!)  :) The humidity had already started to curl the ends... We'll see for sure tomorrow.

I think she likes it! :)

Catch up CUTENESS!! Halloween edition

One of my sweet hubby's favorite holidays is Halloween.  I like it too - but not nearly as much as he does.  That is, until this year!!  (Ok, so I have always liked dressing up - putting on fun makeup and hanging out with my friends...)  But THIS year, Zoey understood Halloween and we took her Trick-or-Treating!

Truthfully, I wasn't too cracked up about it at first.  I mean, would she get it?  Would it be worth it?  We don't even let her eat a bunch of candy...  hmmm...

OH SO WORTH IT!!!  She was SOOO excited!  She was SOO cute!  And yes, taking her TorTing was my favorite part of the WHOLE holiday!!!  I'd rather go walk the cold streets in search of candy happiness with her and John than go to any stinkin' "adult" party ever!

Zoey was a cat.  She even had her kitty scratch dance down to an adorable - melt-your-heart science!

I was having a wee bit of focus trouble the whole night - but this one I love anyway.  I think it should be a card or something.

Knocking on the first candy-filled house.  She was not shy at all!!

Our neighbor and the first candy hitting the bottom of her bag!

Daddy and Z leaving the first house - seeing the MOON!!

Me as a witch - leaving another neighbor's house.  We took those neighbors some coffin brownies! 

Another house down the street.  It's blurry, yes, but I was so amazed that she didn't have an ounce of shyness in her that night!!  (Except for one house that had a man answer the door and his porch had scary decorations... but that's just her good sense.)  ;)

A girl and her bounty.

"Now, this is my candy...."

 And here are some pictures from earlier that day....

Breakfast.

Zoey "helping" me.  She decorated her own brownie pieces.  :)

Coffin brownies.  (Ok, yes, it's fun to go to parties too!)