If only I had seen this 42 days ago...

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/573935592/were-putting-a-tardis-into-orbit-really

**Dad would have loved this too. 

**Yes, Seesta, the 42 is for you!  Even though I picked it before I realized that...  it's 41 days, plus one for good measure and taking time for me to decide whether I wanted the t-shirt or blueprint or both or what!  It does take me time to figure these things out.  MAN, I wish I had found this earlier!!!   (Happy Birthday, B-T-dubs.  Love you!)

The question.

Tonight after Zoey's bath, prayers, and another chapter from "Adventure Cat goes to School,"  the kitties curled up on her bed with us and we just lying there.  Talking some...  about our kitties.  About other kitties.  About our day at Grandma's for our third of four Christmases this year.  About how we must smell like Calico (the cat at Grandma's).  She told me about playing with Delia and Calico in Grandpa Stan's room.

Then it happened.

She asked the question I can't answer.

"Where is Grandpa Stan?  I haven't seen him in a long time."

I felt like I was kicked in the gut.  Literally...  My gut sank in.  The tears welled up.

"Well..."  I said.  (Thoughts about ...he was sick...  he died...  no, no, that's not it...  ummm...  ummm... She's four.  Don't scare her.)

"Do your teachers talk about heaven in school?"  (Of course they do...  they had a birthday party for Jesus the week before Christmas....)

"Yes," she said.

"What do they tell you?"  and she proceeded to sign and sing a song about heaven.  She showed me the signs.

I could have left it at that...  not really answering her...  but I couldn't.

"Well, that's where Grandpa Stan is...  in heaven."

"Why?" she said...

(Oh boy...)

"Because it was his time to go be with God,"  I said through the tears - trying to hold myself together.

Then we continued to talk about it...  sort of.

I said I missed him and asked if she missed him.  She said No.  That she was happy he was with God and wondered if he was a "siple"...

"A disciple?" I asked.  And she proceeded to sing another song - that I'm not so sure she was sure of the words.... because I couldn't quite catch them.

She asked about my tears.  I really couldn't say much.  Just tried to make it through...  not get too blubbery and hoped not to get her crying.  (She tends to cry whenever I do.)

But she didn't cry.

We just kinda layed there, next to each other...  with the kitties. 

I'm not so good with this stuff...  not good with death or religion or anything. 

But thinking back on this...  I am simply in awe of my sweet little girl.  Four and a half years old...  she remembers so much.  She feels so much.  Is so loving and kind.  so sweet. 

Through the tears, I am blessed.

Daddy, I love you.  I miss you.  You are forever with us. 

Easter

It seems as though everyone and their mother posted pictures of candy-filled baskets and egg hunts on facebook this year.  I have decided to jump back into the blogosphere with some snaps of the cutest Beana EVER!!

Easter this year was wonderful.  Zoey picked out her own dress:  

Easter ballerina!!  She was so proud of that dress; she waved and smiled at everyone at the dinner -like a Queen.

And Daddy gave her an early Easter present. ("Richie the Repeating Rabbit," it's like Tom, the cat app on some phones, but in 3-D).  In our house, this little bunny's name is Kiki.  Yes, Kiki.  :)

My Mom came to visit us this year.  It was so good to see her and hang out for a few hours.  We tried to get her to stay the weekend, but maybe next year. 

On our way to the dinner buffet, I sat in the backseat with Zoey and Kiki (and yes, Bunny Bunny too)!

Grandma Pat and Zoey the cutest Easter duo ever!

My beautiful little girl.  She is really something.  And SMART too!! 

One of the few pictures of the photographer.  Thanks to hubby!  (You can even see Miss Zoey in my glasses!)

We had a very "adventureous" time at The Hotel's buffet.  The experience reminded me of long ago when Dad took the family out with Grandma Bea and we got stuck with horrific service  - and Dad went searching for silverware in the restaurant...  remember that, Tracy?!  I was mortified at the time.  NOW, I get it.  I'm the Mom...  John's quite the Dad.   and Damnit, we got our silverware... and drinks...  and a discount too.  ;) 

It was fun to get dressed up and spend time with Mom and the Millers and Bill and Sarah too!  We need to do that more often!!  (We'll just leave the poor, disorganized Hotel out of it.)  ;) 

I hope you all had as much fun at your Easter celebration as we did. 

Watoga, Part Two: Our arrival and firewood adventures!

I made it to Watoga with Mom and Zoey!  It wasn't easy. 

Picture us getting *slightly* lost.  Watoga may have a Marlinton address, but the "town" of Marlinton is NOT where the Park is...  like, we NEVER saw Marlinton.  We never saw the tons of places that I researched (aka restaurants...)  But I digress.... Picture us driving over a pretty incredibly beautiful mountain (it was mid-October, fall foliage time in West Virginia, mind you...).  As we drove over said mountain(s), dinnertime was quickly approaching.  If you know me, you know that I must eat.  I HAVE to eat.  regularly.  I had packed snacks, but I hadn't been keeping up with the snacks (and quite frankly, I forgot that I had packed cheese sticks!).  Soooo, blood sugar was dropping.  Spirits were slumping.  And Mom's secondary brake pedal was continually being slammed to the floor! 

At one point late in the drive, I pulled (slammed) over to the side of the road and got out of the car to get the "real" food out of the trunk:  the bread. We snacked on bread and apples and whatever else I found in the cooler - oh, there are those cheese sticks!  It was a quick stop - but a nice stop to eat and check the map again.

Ah, the map!  I should mention after coming down the MOUNTAIN... we found a gas station.  I ran in to ask directions and buy a MAP.  In the days of GPS, cell phones, MapQuest, yadda yadda...  one easily forgets the importance of a paper MAP!  There is NO CELL SERVICE anywhere!  And the TomTom (GPS) didn't recognize the address for the park...  it could get us to "city-center Marlinton,"  uh, but we covered THAT little part...

I asked the young "ladies" about buying a map...  They didn't have any to sell - only an old one from the tourist bureau or something.  I gladly took it and asked for directions (and a place close by to eat)...  The one girl (Let's call her "Meth Mouth."  For she did, in fact, have the worst case of Mt.Dew/Meth mouth that I have ever seen!  Even worse than the fictionalize/satorized depictions of Englishmen's teeth in the "olden days"...)  Anyhoo...  "Meth Mouth" basically laughed at me when I asked where Watoga was...  especially when I asked if there would be a sign somewhere. 

She then explained to me how to find the ONE sign that was near a white church.  "Oh, ok... Thanks...."  hmmmm...  what?!  Check out Mom's blog for the picture of that.  Her camera didn't work the first part of the trip.  My camera was full as we made the trek home. 

But after checking the map and resetting the GPS to a "citycenter" of a town that was close to the entrance of the park, we made it - with daylight to spare!!!

The Watoga State Park office, located 5 miles from the entrance to the park.  It had a space for a restaurant and a gift shop (both closed for the season).  It was pretty cool looking - larger than I thought - perhaps a bit like a 1950s lodge might.

Mom picking up our key!  The office was closed by this time and we got our key off of the wall.

 We had driven past Cabin #7 (our cabin) on our way to find the park office.  I must admit, at first drive-by-tired-and-hungry glance, I thought it was tiny and we were surely sunk.  So, when we picked up the key, I remember John saying Cabin #17 (or was it 12?  I remembered at the time) was a two-story cabin.  I found the keys for that cabin and contemplated switching...  but then, no.  ;) 



The awesome fireplace!!  Zoey checking out the rocking chairs (it came with three).  And, our reason for making the trek, Daddy on the mantle.  I think it was a nice place to let him hang out for the weekend - watching over us, if you will.


Arrival!!  Upon entering our fair Cabin #7, I was pleasantly surprised - shocked even!  It was much bigger than it looked!  It was actually pretty cool.  And, yes, now I can say I really liked it.  :)  I would do it all again.  (IF I packed better.  "When you know better, you do better," says my friend Christine.) 

 It was getting COLD in the mountains...  As soon as the sun went down... it got even colder.  We brought all of our bags and luggage and such in from the car... now what?!  Well, there was that whole FOOD thing.  So we made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and snacked on our goodies - chips, etc. 

We thought about the fireplace... None of us had much experience with building a fire.  I love fire.  Always have, but I've not much time starting one.  We figured that our camping trio (The Strothers) would soon join us, so we waited and went to the next major step: BEER.

I brought a case of my seasonal favorite, Sam Adams Octoberfest.  I had been looking very much forward to a tasty cold beverage after our long drive.  (Which, by the way, Mom and I decided not to leave Dad's remains in Watoga during our drive into the park.  It is too far away. And, subsequently, not the park she thought it was...  not the park she and Dad went to with Grandma Bea and Pop-Pop.  I'm quite happy with that decision.)

But back to the beer, (wink wink - nod to Dad!),  I hadn't thought to bring an opener... surely a cabin in the woods would have a BEER OPENER!!!  NOOOOOooooooooo!!!  The rabbit-wine opener top was made of PLASTIC and had been broken. ... Most likely by some other road weary traveler clumsily desiring a tasty cold BEER. 

I can't remember if turned on Mom's iPhone for some much needed tunes at this point or not...  but we did during the evening.  Ah, They Might Be Giants....  The Flood album was a great spirit lifter - even without our anticipated "spirits"!  ha! 

While eating our dinners, we decided that if we didn't see (cause there would be no "hearing from" anyone without cell service...)  our fellow cabin dwellers by a certain time, we'd get to the fire ourselves... and we did just that. 

Me making a fire out of the parts left over from the previous tennants.  (Note:  glad I was drawn to the cool hand-forged fireplace tools because the old fire was still GLOWING hot underneath.  Evidentally the last residents left within hours of us.  We realized this when I found WET dishes in the cabinet - freshly washed.  AND one coffee cup with coffee and cream still in the cup - put away IN the cabinet!) 

My very first indoor fireplace fire! 

I learned SO MUCH during this trip!  As the fireplace was our only source of heat and I ended up being the ishkatay over night....  Tracy and Keith taught me about fire (the next day - but with my uninformed night before, the information made so much more practical sense!  And a MUCH warmer night the next night)!  My fire lessons could fill a post alone.  Just let me say, I love it all even more now!  :) 

The three of us sat by our little fire and enjoyed being - just being.  I made coffee for mom.  Zoey rocked her bunny in the rockers.  We waited for the rest to show.  (Hoping all was ok...)

The loft space - where Tracy, Keith, and Delia slept.

The ceiling.  Aren't the colors of the wood divine?!  And, I purposely didn't mess with the pictures (for time too!) **Note:  I have both flash and non-flash pix this trip.  I prefer no flash, but I'm just not very good with staying steady these days! So, forgive me if some are blurry.  I guess that's a good thing about the blog - this small, you can't tell!  ha! 

Zoey's dress for BED! 

Zoey in our room.  We took the queen bed because we thought John would join us the next day.  After we decided to bring Dad home, I called him (from the office pay phone) and told him not to make the LONG trip.  We missed him.  *And, no, we didn't use that crib.  Zoey was way too long for it and she just stayed with me!  Better all around!!

One of my favorite pictures!!  Ingenuity reigns supreme! 

After deciding that we were going to run out of wood very very soon...  Mom and I decided that we'd just take the bull by the horns and go gather some wood!  The wood pile/shed was back outside by where we parked the car.  Between Mom's two lanterns (bright LED or halogen or something BRIGHT) and my bright idea to carry wood back in with my super sized laundry basket, we made it work!  I hate spiders and bugs and what not... so I took out the super cool fireplace gripper tool to pull wood out of the pile and onto the ground (thereby not having to reach directly into the wood "house" without gloves).  Brilliant!  (at least in my mind) We made two trips, I think, maybe three...?!  Zoey stood inside the door and watched us some.  I figure she was just going up and down the stairs to the loft over and over and over.   That was probably her favorite part of the cabin.  :) 

In retrospect, we needed MORE wood - lots more.  (Like I said, I learned soooo much. Like how to properly stoke the fire and so one and so forth...)  So the next day Keith and I loaded up some more wood and that night we FILLED the floor and behind the door with wood. (Know better, do better.)  :) 

But enough of previews of the next installment.  :)  I think this post is quite long enough!!

In Loving Memory...

Most everyone who reads my blog knows me personally... so, most everyone knows that my Dad passed away.  I'm still not in a place to write much about it (or anything else these days, it seems...).  I did, however, want to share the movie that my sister made in his honor. 

:::Hey, I forgot it lists our addresses...  So, sorry random internet world...  You'll have to ask me personally to see this movie!  Just send me an email and I'll send you the link!  (Which means, I have to at least know you aren't a stalker!!):::

We both sorted through many photo albums - selecting just about as many photos that we could find of our sweet Daddy.  You see, he was the photographer in the family.  He was the one usually behind the camera.  We did find some good ones.  And I think my sister did an awesome job putting it all together and holding true to the superb person that my Dad was. 

A note about the music:  we picked out a bunch of Dad-inspired tunes.  Four of them played at the Celebration of Life service last week.  (I may just add those later... if I can keep from crying as they load.)