"She'll be one on Monday."

I must have said that about 10 times today. "She'll be one on Monday." Strangers asking how old she is... in stores, at the market...

My beautiful baby girl - will. be. one. year. old. on. Monday. ONE!

I can hardly believe it. :)

I haven't written these last few days (shameful, I know) because I have been obsessing about Zoey's birthday. More truthfully, obsessing about getting ready for the people coming to visit. Relatives this weekend and friends next. Get the house ready. Decorate. blah blah...

I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by my To Do list lately. (I love making lists, mind you. Why? I'm sure it had some terrible childhood meaning. What.ever.) The last few weeks' list(s) have been lording over me... clean this, fix that, buy this, hide that!

I sit in the evenings on my bed, in relative dark and quiet, and nurse Zoey to sleep. The last few nights I have really been focusing on her. My thoughts on her. My daytime head seems to spin with the lists, but I have been so grateful for my evenings to simply be with my child. It helps me try to get over myself with all of this worry about non-important things....

and oh those important/not-so-important things all wrapped up into one more list...

My sweet Beana is having a birthday. And I haven't planned a large party. On one hand I'm sad about this because I love parties and I'd love to have everything be perfect for her. On the other hand, I am so glad. She's so little and what good would a large party be with lots of kids over and lots of chaos. She doesn't play with other kids much yet anyway - why add stress to her birthday?!

So, we are having a family cook out tomorrow here at the Manor. And another family dinner at Sun Valley on Sunday. I have planned a "theme" of hot pink, electric blue, and (some other fancy name) purple. :) I have no idea why I picked those colors. They just felt right for Zoey at this time. :) I bought some crazy fun fabric to hang on the ceiling of the back porch (so much cooler than streamers - and more ECO friendly: reusable!! and, oh I WILL have them as part of my luaus forever more...) However, the weather forecast is for HOT HOT HOT and HUMID HUMID gastly ICK weather (and thunderstorms as one sees fit). So, I figure I'll have to find some other use for the fabric. Or simply store it for another time.

**Side note: as I was deciding on which fabric, I said something to the little fabric guy about how perfect it was for a little kid's first birthday... and he said, "Yes, or you could use it to recreate Brittney Spears' Circus tour costumes!" At that moment, I looked at Zoey and said.... "OR we could just go with Black and White!?!" Both the fabric guy and I chuckled.... Zoey just pointed and said "DAT!" :)

So, dear readers.... I have no idea what will come of this weekend. BUT it will be MEMORABLE and darn it, it'll be FUN!! I'll take pictures for you all and get them up as fast as I can.

....my baby is turning one.... I am in AWE.