If you know me at all (or even if you read my blog more than occasionally), you know Zoey and I have been battling sleep. Not so much the nighttime sleeping (thankfully, um, except this last week, but whatever...), but the nap. N-A-P
Normally I nurse her to sleep for a nap. Her naps were getting shorter and shorter. Like 15 minutes, seriously. But she wouldn't go back down and didn't want to nurse anymore (could you blame her - so much milk.)
Yesterday, I just couldn't take it anymore. Before I even got her into the crib, she began WAILING!!! I tried to nurse her again.. nope. I tried to stroke her hair... nope. I tried all of those little tricks that the No-Cry people tell you will make your child less anxiety-ridden and trust you more and LOVE you more!!! Oh, yeah, the guilt.
The true guilt came when I WANTED her to CRY! I called my Mother-In-Law. I told her the situation and put the monitor up to the phone. She thought I was still in the room with Zoey (that's how loud it was). Without any deep conversations about what I was feeling, she told me that sometimes you just have to let them cry. YES!! (Is that terrible?) Here she was trying to make me feel better about letting her cry, when she was telling me just what I wanted to hear. I didn't tell her that I was happy about it. No way.. because I'm NOT. I really did just need someone to say - hey, you're ok and doing well. Thanks!
I told Joyce (my MIL) that I'd call her back with updates... Within 10 minutes of that call, Zoey was not-so-quietly hic-upping or heavy breathing or whatever... THAT was kinda scary. But I had heard her do that once before after a long cry. (Trapped in the car, with both me and John, and she made that noise asleep for about an hour... at least then we could SEE her.)
So, at that point Z was sleeping and I called Joyce. Had her listen to the heavy breathing... we chatted again... My heart still pounding from the activities...
To pass the time and take my mind off wanting to check on her, I made guacamole... I ate guacamole and chips. The whole bowl of guac...
Which brings me to today's nap. N-A-P
The exact same scenario played out... except this time I didn't get angry. I didn't panic. I didn't call anyone. I put a pot of water on for tea. and I ate. and ate. Yogurt. Chips. Fruit Salad. The reason I'm writing this now is because Zoey hit the stage where she began hic-upping and I said I needed to sit down and listen to be sure she was ok.
and you know what... she is. As I listened to her crazy-after-screaming breaths, I heard her sigh. One tiny, yet full of emotive relief, sigh. That sigh made it all worth while. Because this time, without the anger of yesterday, came the fear. That whole No-Cry-your-baby-will-grow-up-to-hate-you fear. I just have to remember that yesterday she napped for nearly an hour and a half!! And she was the happiest baby in the world that evening.
So, dear readers, and fellow non-napping baby mamas, this too shall pass. Now, pass me some gum so I stop this crazy eating thing!! HA!
**Both days crying time less than 30 minutes! ...Thankfully... I really don't know how long I could let it last......
1 month ago
6 comments:
You are a good mama, honey. It is working - this motherhood thing. Trust yourself.
Love,
Yo Mama
Thanks Mama! You are a BIG part of how I can do it! I love you.
Don't you remember being a kid and crying? I still cry all the time! Even babies need a good emotional release. You know what I think those No-Cry people can do with their philosophy! You are a way better mother than I was when Delia was that age, and she has turned out OK so far, so have faith!
I love you!
Seester
Oh I know how that is - my little vegemite has been having little upsets about going down for his morning nap too - I am not strong enough to do the cry thing - I just pick him up and try again 30 mins later - this does seem to work for him......I think they just don't want to miss out on anything - they think that if they go to sleep they will miss out on something or they miss us??? So cute. Oh my beating heart....
You are a wonderful mama! And Zoey is lucky to have a mama who *thinks* about these things:-) My kids are totally not the picture of sleeping health, but I have found that sometimes, for their own sake, they just need to cry a little and go to sleep. They NEED sleep, and they don't know it--they're babies! LOL Someone (I forget who) once told me that a good gift you can give you your baby is to teach them to soothe themselves to sleep....so...
Good job Trisha! I bet after a few days Zoey will be able to lay down in her crib and fall asleep, all on her own, peacefully:-)
What recently worked with Sophie is getting a fever...She got so sick and yucky feeling that she put herself to sleep anywhere she could. It only lasted 24 hours, but it taught her that sleeping and going to sleep by herself wasn't so bad...Yippeee!! It took a few days, but she is MUCH better than before. Not perfect, but sleeping more often now!!! Hang tough!!!
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