A year and half later: The Return.

T.M.I. ALERT! Warning: To my brother-in-law and any other men who might read this.... This post may contain information that you really don't want to know. Then again, if you are reading this and you are a male, you are probably married (as in, to my sister) and have been through this before. So, whatever. I felt compelled to document this moment in my life.

Last night, before heading to bed, I noticed a tinge of red. blood. For the few months prior to discovering I was pregnant, I would be disheartened to see a tinge of red. This was a vast change from the shear and utter delight I felt after seeing blood in the months before that paradigm shift. That delight only felt so gleeful after having one of those moments where you didn't see it for days... gulp. and days... until then you did! (At least that's how it went for me.)

This time upon seeing the tinge... I felt a sunken feeling. an "aww, man!"

So, it's been a year and a half. 18 months. Since I've had the 'pleasure' of my monthly visitor. "Aunt Flo." "Menses." "My. Period."

And I have to tell you... I hadn't missed it/her/whatever.

When I was much much younger, I would think about being an anomaly. Who ME?! Well, this time for weirder reasons. I would sit on the toilet, usually at my Grandma's house, and literally think about what it would be like if I could be a woman that didn't have a period. Then I'd think more about it and have to make sure that I was straight with 'conversational self' and be clear that I could still have children. (Even then, I understood that periods linked to having kids... somehow...)

But I digress...

Back to the real world of today. I had hoped that I could delay getting my cycle for as long as possible:
1. I nurse on demand.
2. We delayed Zoey getting a pacifier to the point that now she uses it as a chew toy - not really to "pacify."
3. I have been strict with introducing solids. We did introduce rice cereal earlier than I would have thought, but it was totally the right time for her! And we were within the "normal" ranges.

Not that I did any of those things specifically for the delayed cycle-ness. Not by any means. I didn't even think about it until after we had done all of them and THEN I heard one of my friends talking about "natural spacing" of children. (I guess some couples out there don't use any form of birth control other than nursing, etc. to delay ovulation.) Um.... ok. sure...

I'm just doing what I think is best for my kid. (The delayed cycle was a BIG ol' perk!)

Anyhoo... it's back. ugh. I didn't even want to get out of bed this morning. I just felt overly icky. I looked at Zoey there next to me and thought "can't we just hang out in bed all day?" But I pushed on (as, I'm sure, we all have).

I wasn't really prepared. It was such a crappy, cold day today, too... I didn't want to leave the house. Thankfully I found a mixed box of 'products' to make it through the day. That, and my WONDERFUL husband stopped by the store to pick up something to get me through tomorrow.

It's still just enough to get myself together to go out to the store myself later. Which I have stealthfully avoided having to go to the store alone with Zoey ever since she grew out of the sling. (Except that one time.... and I just carried her.)

What can I say? I did have a good nine months after the birth to enjoy the freedom of no adult diaper type items, no cotton plugie things, no leaks, no stains, no general icky stomach-ness, no horrendous feeling that your girl parts are full of lead shot and they are just simply going to fall off. yeah... A constant pulling... On my legs. my parts. my back. pulling.

But that's NOTHING, right?! I GAVE BIRTH WITHOUT DRUGS. Yeah, I keep telling myself that. So, I do suck it up. Millions and millions of women put up with this every day. I am too. I just go back to that little kid conversation with myself and think..... Would I rather have one day of extreme crampy pains or five days of just annoying-ness? Even now, I try to compromise: "Can't I have three days of 'I can deal with this' and have it be over?"

As long as we're asking.... Can I have two days of "yeah, it happens. What's the big deal?"

I'll take that! And who knows... "Having a Baby changes everything." Perhaps I'll get lucky with this bodily change! :)