Miller Manor Moments

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2012-02-02T17:20:00.000-05:00

Wanted: Best Friend.
Buddy. Pal. Girl Friday. Someone to call on when I have a funny story to tell. Someone to cry with me when I'm sad. A girlie to talk about relationships, kids, family, sex, politics. Someone to open my mind to new music and new fashions or simply enjoy the old ones with me. A gal that likes to have a drink of red, a bottle of beer, or a chilled martini without it being a requirement for fun. Someone who, with just a little notice, would jump in the car with me (and Z and whatever other kids are around) and go do something.... anything... playground, restaurant, park, mall...the grocery store And with a bit more notice would feel comfortable to travel, to explore. Someone who felt as comfortable in my home as her own. And I felt the same about hers.

Someone I trust. Someone to make me laugh. Someone who will listen and have ideas to share.

Is that too much to ask?

If so, can I just open it up to some nice person out there who will listen as well as talk. Someone with whom I don't have to censor myself. Someone who won't run off and tell everyone else my thoughts.

I could be that for you. :)

Watoga Part 4: Lunch at The Pretty Penny

2012-01-15T10:43:00.002-05:00

For our first full day on the adventure, we had eaten breakfast and now (in usual family form) were preparing for lunch. We decided to venture out into the world around us and find a fun restaurant. And, boy, we did! The Pretty Penny.

Our crew (I'm taking the picture)

We took the advice of a man we met at the park headquarters. Evidently he and his wife stay at Watoga quite a bit. He recommended the restaurant and told us that the woman that ran it also did the Park restaurant - when it was in season. (This man is also the reason we learned to order kindling! Ah, yes! Good call.)

The restaurant was one of the only things in the town - or so it seemed. It was owned and operated by a lady that focused on fresh, local products. The food was unique and tasty. Keith ordered the bbq sandwich, I think?! They boasted to having the best anywhere. He agreed. Not being a barbecue fan, I'll take his word for it.

I can't remember exactly what I ate. It had goat cheese and chicken on it and was tasty! The sandwich breads were made there too. Yummmmy!

The building was a general store at one point, I believe. There was also a small stage complete with upright piano!

The front of the building was full of windows. It was really cool. The light was lovely. I think these are some of my favorite photos - simply because of the clarity. ah, natural light. :)

Keith

Tracy.

Mama.

After our leisurely lunch, we decided to walk a bit and see what we could find. Right next door to The Pretty Penny was a little antique place that had... Fiesta!

Yes, I found some Fiesta to bring home. (And later on, my sweet sister picked up some MORE mugs at the outlet on her way home - since when Mom and I drove by it, it was closed.)

I also picked up some old blue glass bottles for my bathroom. Milk of Magnesia, I believe - though the labels were gone. One still had a rusty metal lid and dried stuff inside.

Cousins, knit hats, and a bench!

the side of The Pretty Penny - just for fun

From this point on... we decided to drive on to Lewisburg.....

Rainbow sweater

2012-01-13T14:39:00.000-05:00

Ok, ok... so it's been awhile since I've been on here. Some pretty big things have been happening... big and small. Time has been ticking right along. Presents have been opened (at four different times). Meals have been eaten (big family meals, mind you). A wedding has been celebrated. Cookies have been baked. Netflix has been watched. And on and on...

Special dates have been marked with many happy (and some sad) ways. *Oh and during all of this Blogger decided it didn't like me or my computer. So instead of fighting it (or trying to fix it) for a while... I just watched Doctor Who! hahahahah

On to the real post... My sister made some wonderfully knitty items for Christmas this year. I received a super soft hat (pictured here) and she made a WONDERFUL sweater for Zoey. She had asked Miss Z about her favorite color a while back and Zoey said. "RAINBOW!" And proceeded to tell her about the colors of the rainbow or sing the different rainbow songs she knows or something uber cute.

This is what resulted from the conversation:

The inside photos are of the actual gift-giving day at Sun Valley. The outdoor photos are here at the Manor in the heat of a January day. (seriously it was 45 or 50 degrees outside!) *Today - merely 3 days later - it's SNOWING. Hey, that's Ohio for you.

Superstar!

With her cowgirl hat that Daddy found.

You can read my sister's story of the sweater and the buttons. Oh, those buttons. They are awesome. They were in my Grandma's button box (one of many button boxes/jars/cottage cheese containers...). I think they are so cool. Cool enough that while John was out of town earlier this week, I took on storyTELLLING duty. (I normally read her a story or two every night, but Daddy does the TELLING.) Since he was gone, and she was without a fresh new story, I made one up about her magical orange buttons. Complete with a walk in the woods and fairies and all. Her buttons lit up or glowed when she was in the presence of fairies. Well, I liked it anyway. ;)

"Yeee-Haw!" (I'm sorry...even I can't escape it.) ;)

Miss Zoey has been wearing her sweater every time we go out. (Except last night for Uncle Bill's graduation... it was raining and the threat of snow was menacing...) The first time she wore it and her infamous "cowboy girl hat" to Giant Eagle, we were the life of the produce section. and the bakery. and the deli. But who's kidding the folks at Giant Eagle love her every day!

Thanks dear seesta! We are enjoying the gifties (I even wore my hat out to play in the snow this morning.)

**And now that Blogger has decided that I can blog again... Perhaps I'll get to it....The Watoga saga hasn't even wrapped up yet. (Sheesh, I may have to make up the rest...)

Graham Cracker as Gingerbread Housing!

2011-12-13T21:20:00.000-05:00

Today, yes, today!!! Zoey and I finally made our gingerbread house! (Our first ever.) We had a blast!!

With an egg... waiting for the eggs to reach "room temp" was the hardest part. ;)

Loading up Grandma Joyce's sa-weet mixer!

My girl with the sensative ears. This time she not only stayed in the room with the mixer but right there next to it! (small steps) :)

Piping the walls. Zoey really did a lot of the work! She's quite the little baker/maker!

Our base house (and little snowmen that turned into trees!)

Concentration. She really did work! :)

Our stash of candy and things (all "found" items in the pantry)!

Candy on the roof. (Yes, I piped it.)

Making our bushes and trees. (Marshmallows covered in icing - pretty cool, IMHO.)

Presenting our very first Miller Manor Gingerbread House!!!

Our chimney is an out-of-date Kashi bar that I found in the back of the pantry. ;) Really, it is on straight - it just looks crooked.

A close up. One icing/marshmallow tree and a window. She decorated the windows all by herself and then put the icing on the backs for me to put them on the wall. :)

This is my first time making royal icing. I learned quite a bit. For one, it doesn't take a doubled recipe to ice a tiny house. 2) add vanilla for a better taste... As in, it IS really edible at all!! and C) I'm interested to find out what happens with the massive amount left over in the fridge.... still usable/tasty? And this recipe is easy!! (Would it work on the upcoming wedding cookies?!? Hmmmm.....)

Hope you enjoy a timely look! xo

Catch up CUTENESS!! Halloween edition

2011-12-13T09:00:00.001-05:00

One of my sweet hubby's favorite holidays is Halloween. I like it too - but not nearly as much as he does. That is, until this year!! (Ok, so I have always liked dressing up - putting on fun makeup and hanging out with my friends...) But THIS year, Zoey understood Halloween and we took her Trick-or-Treating!

Truthfully, I wasn't too cracked up about it at first. I mean, would she get it? Would it be worth it? We don't even let her eat a bunch of candy... hmmm...

OH SO WORTH IT!!! She was SOOO excited! She was SOO cute! And yes, taking her TorTing was my favorite part of the WHOLE holiday!!! I'd rather go walk the cold streets in search of candy happiness with her and John than go to any stinkin' "adult" party ever!

Zoey was a cat. She even had her kitty scratch dance down to an adorable - melt-your-heart science!

I was having a wee bit of focus trouble the whole night - but this one I love anyway. I think it should be a card or something.

Knocking on the first candy-filled house. She was not shy at all!!

Our neighbor and the first candy hitting the bottom of her bag!

Daddy and Z leaving the first house - seeing the MOON!!

Me as a witch - leaving another neighbor's house. We took those neighbors some coffin brownies!

Another house down the street. It's blurry, yes, but I was so amazed that she didn't have an ounce of shyness in her that night!! (Except for one house that had a man answer the door and his porch had scary decorations... but that's just her good sense.) ;)

A girl and her bounty.

"Now, this is my candy...."

And here are some pictures from earlier that day....

Breakfast.

Zoey "helping" me. She decorated her own brownie pieces. :)

Coffin brownies. (Ok, yes, it's fun to go to parties too!)

Watoga Part 3: Pancakes on McNickle and a walk.

2011-12-12T16:05:00.002-05:00

Cabin #7. (It is actually much bigger than it looks!)

I believe it has been long enough since I sat down to update the ol' blog... well, that I can't remember much detail now! ha! No, seriously, I made an outline of what happened and which pictures to use the first night I started this whole Watoga saga. Now, I have lost it. (Outline? What? Yep, I am an English teacher's kid and I'm a geek, yo.) So, I'll settle my future-me brain to remember via pretty pictures. :)

After the first night of me waking up every single hour to put more logs on the fire, we all got up to eat a yummy breakfast! Tracy brought home made pancake batter and cooked it up on cast iron. We also had bacon! And coffee (using bottled water to try to change the taste this time... no luck, must've been the coffee pot.) And toast from the Bakery! weeee. And cereal, just in case.

Zoey likes pancakes. nom. nom. nom.

So does Aunt Tracy... I kept the photo of her shoving a fork-full into her mouth off of the web. thankyouverymuch. ;)

The two pictures here on the left are specifically for Mom and Barbara. Mom just loved that we ate on McNickle China and kept saying how much Barbara would like it too. So I took some snaps of the dishes. They have the WV state seal on the top and various outdoor/animal scenes on them. Pretty cool.

After brekky-poo, Mom hung out at the cabin and the rest of us walked up to the lodge. We needed some activity and to call John. We had decided not to leave Dad at Watoga and needed to tell him he didn't have to drive the 5 hours to get there. We did miss him (especially now that he's not in any of the pictures of our fun family outing), but it was best because Mom, Z, and I ended up leaving on Sunday anyway.

Me calling John on the pay phone. It was a bit gross... and I was a bit peeved that it was the only source of communication (beside smoke signals, I assume). It worked. **Keith, you never did tell me how much it cost?! Hope it wasn't $10/minute! eek!

Our walk was pleasant. Zoey walked part of the way, ran part of the way, and was carried most of the way. Too bad she refused to let anyone else carry her. Everyone offered... she made me do it. Oh well, we had fun. It was just one of those moments where I wished I had a toddler backpack or Ergo or something! Even my old-school Moby knock-off - although I don't know if it would have fit her nowadays. (If I actually hiked in my real life, I'd consider buying one for a big kid.)

The CCC worker statue. Reminds me a bit of Grandpa Buss.

We took many pictures on our little walk to the lodge. Delia took some too (while I carried Zoey).

The happy hiking couple.

Cousins playing at the lodge. Leaves are FUN!

Mom drove up and "rescued" some of us... from a walk back to the cabin. :)

Poor Tracy forgot her "Very Important Parks Person" pass to get stamped. I felt bad - espcially since I doubt we'll ever go back. But who knows?! Now that we know how to get there - it wouldn't be bad. (**Knocking out Mom for the drive... however.**)

We did have a most wonderful morning... just hanging out. Cooking. Setting off the smoke detector... oh wait, I didn't mention that?! :) After the walk, we decided to look for lunch in town...

**This is where you see the screen fade to black and "...to be continued." flash across. :)

Carving Pumpkins

2011-11-17T17:00:00.001-05:00

Catch up time! (Man, I'm getting a bunch of blog time while John is gone... ) :) Halloween Prep... Pumpkin carving!!

Zoey drew on the big pumpkin and John turned her drawing into the face. Pretty cool! Last year, she made a giant face and he carved out parts of it. This year she made a pretty simple face, so John added a wee bit to it (still following her lead and using her eyes as a guide as well as her smile line for the top of the mouth).

guts.

Pumpkin master.

mad scientist.

She seriously just decided to climb onto Daddy at one point.

Family portrait with pumpkin smile.

Family portrait 2.

The multi-layers of the evening: pumpkin top, carver, most delicious sam's octoberfest, jack o'lantern fun!

da Pumpkins!

Autumn.

2011-11-16T16:27:00.000-05:00

This reminds me of The Secret Garden - discovering the doorway...

Running with delight.

*Note to self: I didn't "process" any of these... yet. I may have to print some for the walls of the Manor.
**Note to family: If you want specific pictures for Christmas/Solstice gifts, please let me know. (That goes for any type of picture, not just these.) xoxo

Photos: Playing in the leaves

2011-11-15T22:27:00.000-05:00

I'll take a break from the Watoga series to bring you... total cuteness!! total beauty!! Total photos (sort of)...

Zoey and I played in the leaves many times this autumn. These pictures (and more "artsy-fartsy" ones to come) were taken on November 4th. Not too bad on the turnover time. ;)

joy.

laughter.

oh, those eyes...

Weeee!

Watoga, Part Two: Our arrival and firewood adventures!

2011-11-06T09:47:00.000-05:00

I made it to Watoga with Mom and Zoey! It wasn't easy.

Picture us getting *slightly* lost. Watoga may have a Marlinton address, but the "town" of Marlinton is NOT where the Park is... like, we NEVER saw Marlinton. We never saw the tons of places that I researched (aka restaurants...) But I digress.... Picture us driving over a pretty incredibly beautiful mountain (it was mid-October, fall foliage time in West Virginia, mind you...). As we drove over said mountain(s), dinnertime was quickly approaching. If you know me, you know that I must eat. I HAVE to eat. regularly. I had packed snacks, but I hadn't been keeping up with the snacks (and quite frankly, I forgot that I had packed cheese sticks!). Soooo, blood sugar was dropping. Spirits were slumping. And Mom's secondary brake pedal was continually being slammed to the floor!

At one point late in the drive, I pulled (slammed) over to the side of the road and got out of the car to get the "real" food out of the trunk: the bread. We snacked on bread and apples and whatever else I found in the cooler - oh, there are those cheese sticks! It was a quick stop - but a nice stop to eat and check the map again.

Ah, the map! I should mention after coming down the MOUNTAIN... we found a gas station. I ran in to ask directions and buy a MAP. In the days of GPS, cell phones, MapQuest, yadda yadda... one easily forgets the importance of a paper MAP! There is NO CELL SERVICE anywhere! And the TomTom (GPS) didn't recognize the address for the park... it could get us to "city-center Marlinton," uh, but we covered THAT little part...

I asked the young "ladies" about buying a map... They didn't have any to sell - only an old one from the tourist bureau or something. I gladly took it and asked for directions (and a place close by to eat)... The one girl (Let's call her "Meth Mouth." For she did, in fact, have the worst case of Mt.Dew/Meth mouth that I have ever seen! Even worse than the fictionalize/satorized depictions of Englishmen's teeth in the "olden days"...) Anyhoo... "Meth Mouth" basically laughed at me when I asked where Watoga was... especially when I asked if there would be a sign somewhere.

She then explained to me how to find the ONE sign that was near a white church. "Oh, ok... Thanks...." hmmmm... what?! Check out Mom's blog for the picture of that. Her camera didn't work the first part of the trip. My camera was full as we made the trek home.

But after checking the map and resetting the GPS to a "citycenter" of a town that was close to the entrance of the park, we made it - with daylight to spare!!!

The Watoga State Park office, located 5 miles from the entrance to the park. It had a space for a restaurant and a gift shop (both closed for the season). It was pretty cool looking - larger than I thought - perhaps a bit like a 1950s lodge might.

Mom picking up our key! The office was closed by this time and we got our key off of the wall.

We had driven past Cabin #7 (our cabin) on our way to find the park office. I must admit, at first drive-by-tired-and-hungry glance, I thought it was tiny and we were surely sunk. So, when we picked up the key, I remember John saying Cabin #17 (or was it 12? I remembered at the time) was a two-story cabin. I found the keys for that cabin and contemplated switching... but then, no. ;)

The awesome fireplace!! Zoey checking out the rocking chairs (it came with three). And, our reason for making the trek, Daddy on the mantle. I think it was a nice place to let him hang out for the weekend - watching over us, if you will.

Arrival!! Upon entering our fair Cabin #7, I was pleasantly surprised - shocked even! It was much bigger than it looked! It was actually pretty cool. And, yes, now I can say I really liked it. :) I would do it all again. (IF I packed better. "When you know better, you do better," says my friend Christine.)

It was getting COLD in the mountains... As soon as the sun went down... it got even colder. We brought all of our bags and luggage and such in from the car... now what?! Well, there was that whole FOOD thing. So we made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and snacked on our goodies - chips, etc.

We thought about the fireplace... None of us had much experience with building a fire. I love fire. Always have, but I've not much time starting one. We figured that our camping trio (The Strothers) would soon join us, so we waited and went to the next major step: BEER.

I brought a case of my seasonal favorite, Sam Adams Octoberfest. I had been looking very much forward to a tasty cold beverage after our long drive. (Which, by the way, Mom and I decided not to leave Dad's remains in Watoga during our drive into the park. It is too far away. And, subsequently, not the park she thought it was... not the park she and Dad went to with Grandma Bea and Pop-Pop. I'm quite happy with that decision.)

But back to the beer, (wink wink - nod to Dad!), I hadn't thought to bring an opener... surely a cabin in the woods would have a BEER OPENER!!! NOOOOOooooooooo!!! The rabbit-wine opener top was made of PLASTIC and had been broken. ... Most likely by some other road weary traveler clumsily desiring a tasty cold BEER.

I can't remember if turned on Mom's iPhone for some much needed tunes at this point or not... but we did during the evening. Ah, They Might Be Giants.... The Flood album was a great spirit lifter - even without our anticipated "spirits"! ha!

While eating our dinners, we decided that if we didn't see (cause there would be no "hearing from" anyone without cell service...) our fellow cabin dwellers by a certain time, we'd get to the fire ourselves... and we did just that.

Me making a fire out of the parts left over from the previous tennants. (Note: glad I was drawn to the cool hand-forged fireplace tools because the old fire was still GLOWING hot underneath. Evidentally the last residents left within hours of us. We realized this when I found WET dishes in the cabinet - freshly washed. AND one coffee cup with coffee and cream still in the cup - put away IN the cabinet!)

My very first indoor fireplace fire!

I learned SO MUCH during this trip! As the fireplace was our only source of heat and I ended up being the ishkatay over night.... Tracy and Keith taught me about fire (the next day - but with my uninformed night before, the information made so much more practical sense! And a MUCH warmer night the next night)! My fire lessons could fill a post alone. Just let me say, I love it all even more now! :)

The three of us sat by our little fire and enjoyed being - just being. I made coffee for mom. Zoey rocked her bunny in the rockers. We waited for the rest to show. (Hoping all was ok...)

The loft space - where Tracy, Keith, and Delia slept.

The ceiling. Aren't the colors of the wood divine?! And, I purposely didn't mess with the pictures (for time too!) **Note: I have both flash and non-flash pix this trip. I prefer no flash, but I'm just not very good with staying steady these days! So, forgive me if some are blurry. I guess that's a good thing about the blog - this small, you can't tell! ha!

Zoey's dress for BED!

Zoey in our room. We took the queen bed because we thought John would join us the next day. After we decided to bring Dad home, I called him (from the office pay phone) and told him not to make the LONG trip. We missed him. *And, no, we didn't use that crib. Zoey was way too long for it and she just stayed with me! Better all around!!

One of my favorite pictures!! Ingenuity reigns supreme!

After deciding that we were going to run out of wood very very soon... Mom and I decided that we'd just take the bull by the horns and go gather some wood! The wood pile/shed was back outside by where we parked the car. Between Mom's two lanterns (bright LED or halogen or something BRIGHT) and my bright idea to carry wood back in with my super sized laundry basket, we made it work! I hate spiders and bugs and what not... so I took out the super cool fireplace gripper tool to pull wood out of the pile and onto the ground (thereby not having to reach directly into the wood "house" without gloves). Brilliant! (at least in my mind) We made two trips, I think, maybe three...?! Zoey stood inside the door and watched us some. I figure she was just going up and down the stairs to the loft over and over and over. That was probably her favorite part of the cabin. :)

In retrospect, we needed MORE wood - lots more. (Like I said, I learned soooo much. Like how to properly stoke the fire and so one and so forth...) So the next day Keith and I loaded up some more wood and that night we FILLED the floor and behind the door with wood. (Know better, do better.) :)

But enough of previews of the next installment. :) I think this post is quite long enough!!

Watoga, Part One: Rainbows!

2011-11-04T22:00:00.000-04:00

Tonight I finally sat down to sort through the pictures of our family trip to Watoga State Park. It's a fairly daunting task. For one, the shear amount of pictures (257) is daunting. There would have been MORE, but I forgot to clean off my memory card. I kept going through old pictures and deleting to make room -but still... I could have had 350 or more to sort.... geesh. ;)

(Just for giggles sake, I marked the time I starteds the initial sorting.... 8:22 p.m. It was 9:11 p.m. when I just finished the glance-overs and naming the good ones! That's why I'm breaking this trip down into many sections... simply to allow myself the time to better look at the pictures. I suppose this is where I should be thankful that I don't have Photoshop anymore... or else I'd end up editing and processing pictures and never get them up on the ol' blog!) ha!

In any case, I'm going to go chronologically - because I like that and it makes sense.... AND when I opened the photo file, I saw THIS:

This was the first rainbow that we saw. We would have missed it totally - had we not gotten turned around. Stopped. Checked the TomTom. Stopped. Got caught in a massive rain. Turned around. and BAM! (These pictures really do no justice!)

Zoey and I picked up Mom on Friday noon-ish. We packed up a rental car. (We tried to have our new ride picked out in time to buy, but since it's now November and we still haven't picked, I'm glad we simply rented.) Mom had many stops to make before we could really hit the road, but it worked. Even with the curvy roads and all of Mom's constant grabbing of the "Oh Shit" handle (more aptly named "Jesus" this trip), we made good time - meaning we landed at the cabin before darkness set in the mountains!!

These pictures really don't seem to capture the beauty. The rest of the photos are of the second rainbow we saw - later on the initial journey. We were climbing one of the many mountains heading into the area where we would eventually find the trail to get to where we were going... confussed, yet? Oh yeah... Into the WOODS.... :)

Literally out of nowhere there was this GIANT and gorgeous rainbow. I took some of these out of the car window. (A stopped on the side of the mountain - car.) If my memory serves correctly, Zoey was the one that said... HEY! HEY! LOOK!! I figure I was too focused on the road and Mom was too focused on me not driving her off the mountain.

"Somewhere over the rainbow..."

This picture looks almost exactly like the second, but I assure you... this one shows how quickly the beauty faded. I don't think I've ever thought about how rainbows fade, but I thought I'd try to capture the process.)

Watoga Trip: October 14, 15, 16 (17 for the Strother's, but that's to come!), 2011

We had such a good time. I learned some things. I took some pictures. I took 21 just of rainbows! ;) I'll share more soon. xoxo

one very observant toddler...

2011-10-12T13:21:00.000-04:00

This is so funny that I stopped in the middle of lunch to write it down! We are sitting here eating lunch... Zoey has asked (very nicely, mind you) to have the mirror placed near her. She's carefully eating her dessert (grapes). When out of nowhere she says,

"This gumball machine doesn't have any place to get out the gum balls?!"

"What?" I said.

(Pointing to her shirt that has a pink graphic gumball machine on it.) "This gumball machine, on my shirt, doesn't have any place to get the gumballs out."

"You're RIGHT!" I said. (pretty shocked... because she is, in fact, RIGHT! The one on her shirt has a place for the coin and a turn knob, but NO place for the balls to come out.) "You are very observant."

Then she went right back to making faces at herself in the mirror and eating her grapes.

****Ah, sweet child. Sweet, SMART, child... :)

On this note, I'll also add what happened yesterday (at lunch as well).

We were out shopping trying to find some long sleeved shirts and pants for this long baby... My sister reminded me that our upcoming trip to the mountains could be rather chilly. Time was passing, clothes were not to be found (yet). It was late and time to EAT! We stopped at Panera. (Not usually where I like to take a toddler... but I have finally found something that Z likes and me too... finally.) We had a bit of a rough start (at the counter)... not having eaten when we should have... but we got our food, sat down, and had a really lovely lunch.

The place was pretty busy and we ended up at a little table situated pretty much IN the booth next to us. Well, you know what I mean... We were close. But I never really paid a bit of attention to anyone else but Z and the manager sitting on our other side who was gracious enough to "keep an eye on" Zoey while I went to get the drinks. As the elderly couple in the booth started to clean up their table and leave, the man started to talk to me about Zoey. He was very flattering - saying how well behaved she was and what a pleasure it was to see us in the restaurant. It was really sweet. As we chatted, he said something that stuck with me... "Having a child and being a parent are very different things." How true. How true.

He also said that we very both very lucky. Me lucky to have such a nice kid and she was lucky to have a mom like me. It was so sweet and unexpected.

The funniest part was, as we chatted, he told me he thought Zoey was 6 years old! He almost fell out of the booth when I told him she was just 3. :) When his wife came back, she was pretty shocked too at the age. She probably wouldn't have said 6 (as usually women have a bit better sense of those kinda things), but she was not even thinking 3. ...Especially when Zoey held up her fingers and told them she was "free."

The threes are trying at times. very trying. for both me and Zoey. Emotions run at the surface. We each have our own ideas of what is to be done "right now." While I know I can always do better.... who's better is really best? I'm quite proud of the little person that John and I are raising together.

I just hope she has nice things to say to her therapist later on... HA!! ;p

What?! We didn't just celebrate Labor Day weekend?

2011-10-09T21:58:00.000-04:00

Zoey and John chilling with a bagel.

I'm a weeee bit behind these days... Behind in updating the ol' Blog... behind in cleaning my house... behind in my garage-full of merchandise to price for The Shop... yadda. yadda. I'm working on it. ;)

Pigtails!! (And DANCING on the sidewalk.)

I realized over the weekend that I hadn't been taking as many pictures lately as I would like... so I pulled out the camera and took a million pictures of Zoey playing in the yard. Those beauties are still in the camera...

I looked through my files and realized that I have been taking pictures - like a "normal" person might... of events. Like parties, gatherings, other people with my family.... So I have, thankfully, been fulfilling my normal parental duties. My bloggo historian duties, well.... I'm starting again.

**Hey, at least it's been more than three years and I have kept it up. I haven't deleted a bunch of pictures on a whim of fancy. I haven't run to a new blog name to hide from my life, not once... surely not two or three times. But I digress...

Labor Day Weekend!! (Only a few short weeks ago.)

My friend Crysta and her hubby host a party to watch the County Fair parade (conducted Labor Day weekend). Every year, we miss it... for various reasons: going home to Cburg, sleeping in, moving into a new house with a two month old baby, forgetting... many reasons. THIS year, we MADE it!!

Long story, short. We had a great time! Zoey loved the parade. Zoey loved her friends. I got to actually talk to some of my peeps and we all got to mingle as a family - with other families. very nice. :)

Profile and more PIGTAILS! (Zoey so very, very rarely ever lets me touch her hair... I had to document this - again.)

Sharing candy. I had no desire to have Zoey fill a bag with tons of parade candy - so I didn't bring one. Needless to say, I'll bring a bag next year just so she can experience the fun of gathering the candy. Tula was nice enough to share.

*Disclaimer sign....

Best buddies...

Perhaps not the best picture, but I couldn't resist.

So adorable.

I couldn't resist posting this super cute kid, Eyob. Smiles all around!

What's in a name?

2011-09-04T10:57:00.000-04:00

I came home one afternoon to find a beautiful and interesting invitation hanging on my doorknob... it was a sawg of pine, dusted with gold, with the card attached to it. The envelope had only my name.

I said, "Zoey look at this card. It has my name on it. Would you like to see it?"

Z: "Yes."

Me: "Look, it has my name on it." (We made tiny fake mail "envelopes" with people's names on them when she was younger... to play with her little Elmo mailbox and try to learn to recognize names, etc.)

Z: "Yes. Mama Elizabeth Miller!"

Me: (smiling!!) "Your name is Zoey Elizabeth. My name is Trisha Joy Miller."

Z: "Yes! Trisha Mama Miller!"

Me: "Yes. Exactly."

At the fountain with Grandma.

2011-08-22T23:01:00.001-04:00

One afternoon in late July (the 24th, I think)... My mom drove over to visit us. We ate lunch together, just us girls. We laughed and we played in the fountain. We had a most wonderful time.

With all that has happened this summer, I have been left without much desire to write/blog/take pictures... but truthfully, life has been going on. Going on with good days. Great days. Small blessings hidden in the everyday. Blessings like that my mom can come and see us. That she wants to come and see us... and will come and see us.

Laughing. One of my favorite pictures.

Looking back at these pictures, I don't really remember what all we laughed about. talked about. probably cried at least a wee bit about. In retrospect, it would have been nice to write about all of this right after we shared our day together... but I am still so very happy to have the smiles to remember.

Click on this one to see those SMILES. :)

...So very happy to have documented one of the very few times Zoey let me do anything with her hair!

My beautiful Mama and her beautiful granddaughter.

...So very happy to have shared a moment with my two favorite ladies!!

*And I remember Zoey rang the BELL at the hotel...Thanks to Grandma's ok. ;)

Cooker.

2011-08-08T21:50:00.000-04:00

Tonight while cooking dinner:

Zoey: "You're not a chef."
Me: "I'm not?! What am I?"
Zoey: "You're not a chef. You're a good cooker."

I'll take that any day! :)

Family.

2011-07-26T16:23:00.000-04:00

In the front room this afternoon, I saw this: (I talked with her, then ran to get the camera!)

Z: "It's nice to have a family."
Me: "Yes, it is. Is this your family?"
Z: "Yes, the bunny is the daddy. You are the grandma. I'm the mommy." (The baby- in the swing- was obviously her baby, as she was feeding her with a baby spoon, etc...)

Oh, how I love MY baby!! ;)

"Sleep tight."

2011-07-19T21:39:00.000-04:00

This was Zoey tonight before getting ready for bath and bed... She was "putting the cars to sleep" she said. Talking to each one of them (and as you might be able to see... putting each car on its side. I'm assuming to rest even better.) After tucking in every car, she whispered "sleep tight" softly as she closed up the table runner (that's the mulicolored piece standing up on the purple yoga mat).

It's the little things that make my heart sing. I am so blessed.

*Forgive the picture quality. I took this on my non-fancy phone. :)

In Loving Memory...

2011-07-19T15:01:00.001-04:00

Most everyone who reads my blog knows me personally... so, most everyone knows that my Dad passed away. I'm still not in a place to write much about it (or anything else these days, it seems...). I did, however, want to share the movie that my sister made in his honor.

:::Hey, I forgot it lists our addresses... So, sorry random internet world... You'll have to ask me personally to see this movie! Just send me an email and I'll send you the link! (Which means, I have to at least know you aren't a stalker!!):::

We both sorted through many photo albums - selecting just about as many photos that we could find of our sweet Daddy. You see, he was the photographer in the family. He was the one usually behind the camera. We did find some good ones. And I think my sister did an awesome job putting it all together and holding true to the superb person that my Dad was.

A note about the music: we picked out a bunch of Dad-inspired tunes. Four of them played at the Celebration of Life service last week. (I may just add those later... if I can keep from crying as they load.)

Put me in, Coach!

2011-07-14T23:31:00.000-04:00

Well, here you have it... weeks later... I return.

Much has been happening here. at the Manor. in my life. That all shall wait for another time.

I finally finished Zoey's birthday movie!! Yay! Many thanks to those who helped me - helped me find music. helped me stay sane. helped me be okay with it not being done exactly when I wanted it done... :)

I also have pictures of her very festive Blue's Clues party. Oh yeah! (And if I did forget some - I'll just take pictures of my living room, still decorated with streamers!) :)

So, thank you for your patience as I get my head back into the game.

Zoey's Year Three Movie

2011-07-14T23:30:00.000-04:00

Musical credits: "Three is the Magic Number" by Blind Melon, "Count on My Love" by Liz Phair, "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles

Breakfast

2011-06-21T08:03:00.000-04:00

While watching our morning PBS Kids, "Steve Songs" was singing about what you like to do.... as in, the kids said things like "I like to draw." "I like stories." Without missing a beat Zoey said, "I like to EAT."

That's my girl. ;)

Memorial Day at Sun Valley, Part Two

2011-06-12T15:02:00.000-04:00

Here are a few pictures of randomness and fun from Memorial Day. (And SUPER UBER CUTE...)

I forgot my sandles at home... so I ended up wearing Tracy's around. (Her feet are two sizes smaller than mine. She didn't seem to mind.) :)

The clothesline.

I came into the kitchen from outside to find Tracy and Keith in a bit of a baffled awe... It seems Mom couldn't get the cardboard box open with her fingers, so she used a pair or scissors to STAB it. Normally a fine idea (at least for those of us that are quick to rage).... not so much for pressurized cans...

"The fallen."

After a day of sunscreen, sprinklers, and juciy watrermelon... I figured this kiddo of mine needed a bath. Instead of cleaning out the tub (that hasn't been used in more than a decade... most likely more than two), I found this old washtub. Zoey LOVED it! I was just going to sponge her off, but she decided to sit. :) Reminds me of when we'd bathe her in the giant sink here at the Manor...

Adorable!! (Delia helped me... that is her foot in the pic.)

Washtub toes.

There are more super cute tub photos... but I just don't feel like putting those up on the webbie-web. If you'd like to see them, stop by the manor with some kind of food item (I'll provide the mojitos) and plan to sit for a spell. :)

Memorial Day at Sun Valley, Part One

2011-06-07T22:46:00.000-04:00

Bubble Time! (I also love this photo because you can see the shed and other various parts of the yard in the bubble!)

I'm very behind updating the goings on here at the Manor... So, here's a bit of our trip to Sun Valley for the Memorial Day holiday.

Delia and Zoey played all day long together. First in the sprinkler, then with bubbles! (The bubble pictures loaded first... so you get those first!)

We also enjoyed a tasty cookout! The watermelon was especially yummy! And Zoey enjoyed her first hand-sized hunk on the rind. (Just like we used to eat it.)

My sun-shiney beauty babe! :)

Yummy!

Zoey loves her cousin Delia so much! If you click on this picture, you'll be able to blow it up and see the BIG smile on Z's face. She smiled at Dee all day long... They had so much fun! We all did.

More to come about this day. ...Just some quirky photos and other fun. :)

**Some of these pictures don't look so great when they are this tiny... feel free to blow them up to see the faces. I suppose I could crop them some more... but I'm tired. HA! xoxo

The "Train Song"

2011-05-26T22:11:00.000-04:00

Zoey loves Johnny Cash. Yep, she does. So do we all in the Miller Manor. I don't think I ever really listened to Cash much in my younger years. I can't remember how I really came to like his music. I'm sure John or someone else out there will remember - especially John. He remembers just about everything (except birthdates of people outside of the immediate family). (Oh, and to write things down. He forgets to write things down.) ;)

But in any case, we listen to Johnny Cash quite a bit. Along with Frank Sinatra and a few others... (right now I'm obsessed with Adele. Thanks Nikki!)

A few days ago Z and I were playing in the front room. She wanted me to "play the train song." That means she handed me a guitar (this time the little flat wooden one) and wants me to sing "Folsom Prison Blues." She had the microphone (from a drive thru kid's meal some time ago).

After a few turns of her singing, then me singing and her playing, she wanted me to sing AND play. Hard without a mic stand. So, I held it between my knees. She thought this was too cool. To be able to sing AND play. Well, then she took a turn.

And Crinklehead got in on the action...

Music! Smiles! And a kid that thinks I can sing and play the guitar! Whoot! :)

This morning (and what should have been at least three different posts)!

2011-05-20T16:55:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up early - rather, I was restless starting way too early to get out of bed. ...probably 4 a.m. or something ridiculous. I wanted to get a drink of water, but was a) too lazy and 2) if you know this house, one step on the floor makes LOUDness across the whole damn place. Seriously, one step and the fake-wood to metal ratio of 70s ranch home construction sends Vietnam Vets into flashbacks! Needless to say, Zoey has learned to sleep through many things throughout the night, but at 4 a.m. or after... NO WAY, Nancy-lads, are you gonna roll over and possibly make the bed shift against the dang floor! Whoa, or else you might just be up making eggs before sunrise.

In any case, I was in my awake/sleep restlessness... I must've started dreaming because the next thing I remember is waking to hear John get up and go get Zoey. Normally, I go get her and he jumps in the shower, but I must have been dead to the world (and by that I mean still wrapped up in my uber vivid dream). All I remember about it was I think John and I were getting married, I lived in a dorm of somekind and no one was helping me prepare to walk down the aisle. The only remaining visual is of some past friends of ours all in wedding gowns (dude in his 60s and his wife and their daughter... yes, even the guy in a wedding gown. - with bare mid-section! Nice Abs, Dan.) Creepy. ;)

For whatever reason when I finally did get my arse outta that bed... well, I thought I was ok. In a good mood. But isn't that the thing, MOOD... at least in my family... you think you are in a good mood and for whatever reason life sucks... err rather, the your reactions to the world suck. I couldn't shake it. Nothing was wrong. Everything was like every other day... but damn, I could have screamed or cried. or who knows.

While trying to get ready to get out of this house... do SOMETHING... must. get. out. of. here. (I used to be quite happy staying in my "work" clothes all day - floppy pants and T, sometimes PJs - all day. And working... cleaning... whatnot... but not so much any more. Perhaps it's because Zoey naps in the afternoon as opposed to morning. Perhaps it's the sunshine outside and the fact very little light enters the room I spend most of my time in... Perhaps I'm just done with being a hermit. I'll never really know.) Well, as I was saying... trying to leave... Zoey's normal not-cooperating hit me like a ton of smelly sweatsocks. I could see the potential of myself falling into a crazed heap or yelling or crying, but I could see the situation - from outside almost... I started talking to myself (outloud...my normal talking to myself is in my head. Oh, don't judge, I know everyone does it in some form or another.) and to God. I don't normally do that. Yes, I pray. {Insert random Steel Magnolias joke} But this felt different, almost like I was watching myself in a movie. Perhaps I'm getting too involved with my current bedtime reading "Eat, Pray, Love." ?!

Whatever the case. I wanted to pull out of my mood... Wanted to pull my kid out of her mood... Wanted to get OUT of the house... So, we did. No, it wasn't like a golden light spotlighted us and the music swelled... no. It took awhile. It took us keeping on moving. It took some groovy tunes in the car. It took most of the morning...

*Oh and it took some help from our favorite little bunny!! He helped Zoey poopy on the POTTY this morning!! In the midst of all the mood-ness, we pulled ourselves together to facilitate some potty action, jackson! WHoot!!

We went to Big Lots to buy some dirt for our ever-changing gardening plans. (More on that later.) And to get Z a little toy for her poopness. :) The store was more evidence of my desires to gain control of the familial moodiness/crazy. We did well. (but ...Future Me, I'm telling you, you did a good job - a work in progress made progress!)

Boy Howdy, I'm talky this afternoon! On to the real reason for this post... Zoey and I had a lovely little impromptu lunch at The Bakery. We were lucky enough to be able to sit outside and enjoy the MOST perfect weather. Not too hot. Sunny, yet we were shaded. It was wonderful. Zoey even ate her entire lunch! (She's usually a great eater, but I have to give praise where due.)

I didn't have my camera. Here we sat... in the beautiful weather... in a beautiful place... with "photographs" everywhere. I thought, I never would have even thought about a camera before, but now I miss it. So, I snapped a couple on my humble phone. I've never tried to post phone pix before... let's see how they turn out.

Zoey with part of her potty prize... She picked out a plastic ice cream set. "For my kitchen," she said. We took out a few pieces and washed them in the sink there.

Lunch! Outside! In the fresh air! :)

As we sat there, I looked at the pretty pansies in the flower boxes. So pretty!! I thought about Grandma. I told Zoey (again) that they were her favorites. When a friend of mine walked by and chatted with us, she asked Zoey if she knew what they were (because Z had pointed to them or something). Zoey replied, "They are Grandma Freda." I explained to my friend what Z meant. But I think Zoey is right. Pansies really are Grandma Freda - forver to me and now to her.

*Ah, but a bit of something else for those of you who have been through the Bakery-visiting journey with us the last two years... Zoey does NOT like Jane. No way, no how. She simply adores Barb! But doesn't want to have anything to do otherwise. I have never once said anything to her about anything from the past. I have alway been positive. Once we decided to go back, I wanted everything to be cool. I missed having a beautiful place to go. Whatever the case, today Miss Z said, "I don't like that lady. I don't like her." I don't know if anyone else heard her or not.

When we got outside, I told Z that "that lady" wouldn't ever be mean to her, but that she was good to trust her gut. "Always trust your gut," I said. Believe in your inner voice, I thought. It has taken me many, many years to think about my own inner voice (and I still struggle with being a people pleaser). We had a little conversation about it - mostly me talking, since she was watching the cars on the road, the bugs in the air, and whatever else toddlers fancy... but I hope she heard my love. At least that.

It's tough, this parenting thing... there are so many options on how to handle every situation - good and bad. There's hardly ever a "right" or "correct" way. I think we did ok today. :)

Spinning!

2011-05-19T06:00:00.001-04:00

Catching up on my Zoey quotes... I give you one she uses frequently these days:

While she's spinning around in circles, arms outstretched.

"I'm spiiinning. I'm spinning.... I'm spiiiinning! I'm spinning... (stops spinning. Trying to stay upright.) Uh Oh, our house is gonna fall over!"

While spinning outside...

"I'm spinning. I'm spinning. I'm spiiinning.... (stops.) Uh Oh, the outside is gonna fall over!"

Sometimes it sounds like she says "I'm spanning.." which is too cute!

Quotable Zoey.

2011-05-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

My kid is brillant. (Isn't everyone's?!) HA! No really, she is. Sometimes she says things to me that blow me away. Sometimes she's just plain funny.

I've been trying to write things down... but I often end up losing the paper or forgetting. I have put little things on FB because I think it's faster or easier. Truthfully, I think FB might reach more people...but then again, I hope this blog lasts. I don't think I'll be able to look back at FB status remarks in 5 or 10 years, but hopefully this blog will still be here.

I'm going to try to tell YOU, my loyal readers, those funny and remarkable little things sweet Zoey says. And sometimes the thoughts themselves aren't fancy - but I get caught up in the fact that this little human - this little person - this person that John and I MADE... well, that she's not even three yet and she is a perfectly thinking individual.

Starting with Friday, May 13, 2011, the last time I made hummus... She says to me minutes after tasting the batch (without any provocation):

"You're a great hummus maker, Mommy!"

It fills my heart with joy!

An un-scannable moment this afternoon.

2011-05-17T14:43:00.000-04:00

So... I've been on a bit of a Blog vacation... or strike... or whatever you want to call it. I just haven't felt like posting. Blah.

Today I sat down to scan some old family photos. (Smith family photos that have been waiting to be scanned for... months... and months...) I am borrowing a scanner from the volunteer group I am in, but I guess I didn't install the software correctly (I'm like that - not a friend of techy things). I would just simply reinstall everything, but geesh, this #$%^& laptop of mine won't hold anything else. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. In fact, I'm pleasantly surprised it hasn't burst into flames at this point. In any case...

Since I have been so selfish as to keep the beauty that is Zoey from everyone, I thought I'd post a picture or two. (Happy days, Grandmas!) ;)

This is Zoey and her friend, Kalis. We all went for a little walk downtown - back when the weather was perfectly spring.
Sorry it's so dark... but if some great benefactor would take pity on me, I could get a computer that would hold photoshop and fix these little issues. ;)

Here again, the cutie pies. We had a great day with Kalis and her mommy (and littlest brother too).
Let's hope when the RAIN stops... we'll have even more fun! **And, please, Mother Nature, the end of rain does not leave you to make each day 90 degrees. Please show us some love.

So, ok... posting really is fun again. I guess I just needed a break. More on THAT later! xoxo

Now, THIS captures a moment!

2011-04-22T07:43:00.000-04:00

.

Cafe Du Monde by Dooce

If only my screen was big enough to see this in all of it's beautiful coffee/sweet treat/neat-o-photog-ness!

{this moment} Sunshine Day with Bunny!

2011-04-15T14:38:00.000-04:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual, inspired by soulemama.com. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

How does your garden grow?

2011-04-12T13:59:00.000-04:00

I'm not much of a gardener. I've actually referred to myself as having a black thumb... but I'm hoping to get better. I'm working to get better. Zoey and I have started a garden. (Ok, it's still inside in cups - as you will see.) I'm so excited to be able to eat fresh things that we have grown!! Fresh foods that I know aren't covered in nasty chemicals! (However, with the state of our water here.... ugh, I'm not so sure which is really better...)

In any case, it's a start!! Here's what are trying first: peas, spinach, sweet basil, genovese basil (new to me!), and yellow pear tomatoes (since John doesn't like tomatoes I thought we'd start small here and buy tasty 'maters for me at the farm market this summer). (Oh and one random apple seed in a cup... that was Zoey's specific addition a week or so ago.) I also have mint... mountains of different mint already in my flower beds from last year. (That I can grow - because it's like a weed! Yippeee!!!)

Here's sweet Zoey picking peas to plant. They are the most fun... because the seeds are.. well, PEAS! and They are actually growing very quickly!! (As you will see..)

Watering. Watering... I didn't want to dig out the big watering can, so our tea pot works just fine!

More watering... See the daisies that John gave us when he came back from a business trip. (I have more pictures of them for a later date).

Close up watering... We labeled our yogurt cups (peas in deep yogurt cups because the package said they needed to be started 2 inches below the surface). See, I'm learning. READING and learning!! :)

Our "greenhouse" - Set up in the spare bedroom. The room we never go in. The room full of junk. Well, it has a window and the cats can't get in. (That is, unless Zoey leaves the door open... but she's pretty good.)

Basil!! (Oooooh PESTOS to come again this summer!!!)

Our first sproutings (PEAS)

Zoey loves to touch the pea sprouts. I let her a little, but we try to let them live some too!

Fast picture!

Today!! Some three weeks into the process.... :) Look at those PEAS!!! Every "pot" has sprouted - except one... which I think is pretty good for us. Oh and that apple tree hasn't really donw anything yet either... ;-P (I'm not sure if we are doing this all the "correct" way, but we are having fun!!)

Now.... to get to Lowe's and buy some materials to build a fence... We have HUNGRY deer here... and LOTS off them!

{this moment} Nursery Rhymes

2011-04-08T18:49:00.000-04:00

As seen on soulemama.com {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Breaks my heart.

2011-04-07T21:41:00.000-04:00

These pictures are from back in February. ..Back when Zoey was so sick. Sick for two weeks. It was awful. She and I ended up sleeping in the living room with the couches pushed together. Was that for her or me? It doesn't really matter which now.

I wasn't too keen on taking pictures of her during this time or even wanting to post/look at what I did take... But as I said a few weeks ago... This is another moment here at the Manor. One that took much out of all of us. One from which we are grateful to have moved on...

Having a child is difficult at times. It is also greatly wonderful and rewarding. I thank God everyday for my beautiful and healthy little girl. Literally. Every. Day. I pray for health. I pray for strength. I ask God and the Universe to guide me.

Never in my past have I been a person to talk about my views on faith, spirituality or ever religion. Never, that is, until I met John... and then still very rarely... Now, that I have had a child...Now, that I have given birth, created a miracle, literally lived and breathed for a tiny soul... Well, it's a bit easier for me to trust in something bigger than me.

I'm also in a place in my life where I am ok to ask for help. (It's still really hard!) Praying is asking for help. Help from God, from my inner soul, from the Universe, from a collective soul. I truly believe all of those "things" are around us to help and guide.

Road to recovery: I knew Miss Z was starting to get better when she wandered around the kitchen, saw the angel food cake that Grandma had made for her, and insisted she have a piece. :)

I hadn't intended for this post to take on such a turn of subject matter. I suppose it is the root of the photos. Our whole family and friends were collected in thoughts of love for the time Zoey was not feeling well. Through struggles with taking medications... our intensive "training" in suppositories. Through worried tepid baths filled with toys and tears (mostly mine). And the countless hours of watching cartoons on the couch... We were all focused on "getting through." I will never forget that we did make it through. Instead of calling out in help or in times of need, I'm staying as true as I can daily. Gratitude, yo! ;)

I realize that I may sound dramatic. I don't take any of this lightly. But I also do not take any one else's struggles lightly. I know many people that have had sick children (even friends that have lost children). I think of them too. But here, I can write about my own experiences. Lessening no one elses.

Spontaneous.

2011-04-05T14:43:00.000-04:00

The last few months haven't been the best... massive job/financial changes, Zoey's newfound screaming-til-she-throws-up fits, serious bouts with the icks due to crappy weather, copious amount of work "volunteered" to me... etc. etc... John and I were talking about this last night and we realized we just haven't had any real family fun in a while. The last I could remember was a spontaneous trip to "The Bakery" a few weeks back.

The day started as many do. We were out searching for a cup of coffee (our machine is broken and we just haven't gone to find one... I've been hesitant since that whole ABC News story about no "Made in America" coffee makers - anywhere. That, and, I thought this would keep me from drinking it so much... ha!)

We were also following the train horns... We hear many trains around us. (Quite lovely from this distance -and across the river valley) Zoey loves sounds of all kinds and the trains are so fun for all of us.... Makes me think about Grafton and that side of the family.

Then we just decided to GO... Drive... and end up getting some lunch! We hit one of John's favorite places. Food? Check!

Coffee? Check!

Fun atmosphere? Check!

My two favorite people in the world with me? Double CHECK!

The day ended (as it had started) by us chasing the train. This time we caught up to one close enough to wave at the conductor. He waved back!! In this shot, you can see him. (Click on it to blow it up.)

A COOKIE for the ride home? Check!

Here's hoping for more fun times with my favorite people. :)

...each our own little Earth

2011-03-24T14:44:00.000-04:00

My little world is still moving.
Today in Zoey's art class, we talked about the moon. "Outer Space" is the theme this time around. We've missed a few classes...thought we'd have to miss the whole shebang for awhile, but with the love of some good friends... we just couldn't miss out. They simply wouldn't let us. ;)

Anyhoo... We talked about the solar system (Pluto is officially "too small" to be a planet according to one new kids book!) =8-O The kids each made a moon out of clay and one out of a paper plate. Then we played a game/song about the sun and the earth and the moon. Basically the kids were supposed to hold balls and walk around the parent, like the moon around the earth. Then the parents were supposed to move around the teacher (holding the sun) while the kids continued to move around the parent (as the earth). It was cute - but a bit chaotic - for two and three years olds. Zoey had no desire to walk around me. She was more interested in putting the balls away. (We obviously weren't "playing" anymore, so why wouldn't those darn kids put the balls back in the container!) Super cute.

There were a few jokes about the teacher (my friend) being the sun - the center of the universe, etc. She's such a nice person, one who will do just about anything for anyone (sometimes overwhelming herself) that the whole idea was funny.

As we made our way around the room, Moms (one Dad) and kids... it was really interesting to think about our world, our little space on this big place.... Everyone out there is doing their own thing. We, Millers, included. Just making our own way around the sun. It struck me as odd that each parent was their own family's Earth. We didn't try to spilt up people into different planets - perhaps that would have been too much for the itty-bittys to grasp. It would have been much too much effort for this particular excercise. It wasn't needed. But there we were, each our own Earth. Each kid her own little moon - making her little orbit around the parent.

No matter how old I get, I still orbit around my family. I just happened to pick up my own moon nearly three years ago.

...
My Mom's birthday is today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA!! It's hard to believe that time is flying by so quickly as to give my mother another birthday right now. Didn't we just celebrate the big 5-0 with a Bonne Belle's cake? Didn't 60 happen yesterday?

My mom is ever-so important to so many people. Me, especially. I don't get a chance to tell her how much I love her as often as I should. Hell, I don't even talk to her as often as I should. I know she knows that I love her. I just hope that she knows I think about her too. a lot.

...Zoey and I are both born under the sign of Cancer - the Crab. Our 'planet' of influence is the Moon.

Mama dear, please know that these two little moons are constantly orbiting you. When you look up into the sky tonight, tomorrow, and the next, please know we love you very much!

2011-03-18T16:21:00.000-04:00

overwhelmed.

stomach-gnawing...

paralyzed

by possibilities

and fear

and jealousy

at times, rage
...
at what
of whom
...
me.
and
you.

Wearin' O'the Green... Thumb?!

2011-03-17T22:41:00.000-04:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! Today Zoey and I decided to enjoy this most beautiful weather!!! Yippee!!! It's about time!! Our GREEN today involved raking the old leaves out of the side bushes and starting to clean up our Iris bed. The cute little green shoots of iris love are starting to emerge from the rocks and point to the sky. I waited to uncover them through many cold spells, but with today in the 60s, I could wait no more!!

Our Irises and such during the clean up!

Zoey helping to stomp down the leaves. We took three trips to the back yard to dump leaves over the hill.

Throwing is always the best part!

Also during our outdoor adventures today we found a St. Patty's Day treat... Nope, not a four-leaf clover... Much cooler.... a Two-headed Dandelion!! For reals, yo!!

This is the back side of this magical wonder!

When this was in the ground, I really thought it was just two really close together. Zoey pulled it up outta the group and yowza!...surprise!!

Zoey stripping the mega stem apart.

The stem after Zoey opened it.

This picture is for those of you familiar with the "froggy face" picture of Zoey that hangs in our kitchen. Two years later... she still makes the face! HA!

My beauty Bean!! So serious!!

We also continued to collect items for our Fairy House. We've been planning to build said fairy house for a couple of weeks... but it's been too cold, then too wet... We've amassed quite a collection of sticks and some bark. We even found an acorn top for a nice fairy cup. And when Daddy came home, we ran out to JoAnn's and picked up some jute to tie it all together. More sticks came this evening with Daddy's help, as I cooked dinner. Hmmm.... I've never done this before... We shall see how it all turns out. (Oh and I picked up some more eggs for our egg tree. One cannot have too many eggs.)

Missing Daddy

2011-03-15T22:04:00.001-04:00

Taken: Feb. 22, 2011

Hint: Click on the photo to blow it up! :)

Writing...now....

2011-03-15T14:21:00.000-04:00

I have a need to write. Yes, I do. But I haven't done it. I haven't written - much of anything - in a long time. No blog posts. Many fewer FB status updates. No stories. No book ideas. Not even so much as a list in a very long time. WHAT?! you say... "No LISTS?!?" Yep, I haven't even gotten to the store with a list in weeks.

So, here I sit. Zoey's napping. I'm trying to get my head together from a morning that I didn't really expect. (No story there, so don't bother asking.) DOOL is on in the background. I can't even sit still to watch that anymore. I'm "lucky" lately that Zoey has been napping during this time so I can get my fill of "my stories" as Grandpa would say... but eh... bleh... it's just so... not where my mind is... not even where my mind wants to vacation these days.

I want to be outside... or at least I like the idea of being outside. I'm not at all interested in being outside in this almost-spring weather. Nosirree! I want SUN and a slight breeze. Here in the Valley that perfect weather might last all of one week. Two if I embrace the muddy grass on one side of that week or the blazing heat of the week after. That's how it is here. ...Ok, not really. It just feels that way right now as I sit and stare out at my muddy yard.

I did have the windows open this morning - at least part way. That was refreshing.

...On to other writing news...
I have some pictures in the "queue" here. waiting. to go up on the ol' blog. They are from when Zoey was so sick a few weeks ago. I want to post them because they are a memory here - a moment. But they are so sad to me. I just want to have some other things to buffer my loooong absence here before throwing those pictures up. (Ok, so maybe I'll do it tonight.)

My sweet friend, Crysta, has given up Facebook for Lent. (You may have seen her posts show up on my blogroll.) I thought about giving something up. Not because I'm religious at. all. But I am surrounded by people that are either Catholic, religious, or simply like to do what everyone is talking about doing... so I did think about it. Then thought that didn't jive with me to just give up something because it's "time" to try the sacrifice. Although I do like Crysta's views on the whole thing. Check her bloggie blog out, if you wish.

I view my spiritual connections a bit differently than many I have met. So, I'm using this Lenten season to keep gratitude in my heart and voiced frequently - everytime I think about someone giving up something special to them for 40 days (or see them actively not having that mocha or pastry or whatever), I try to think of those things and people in my life that make my life so special. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! and thank YOU! I'm not going to post a picture of my gratitude. I'm not going to write every thankful thought out for the world to see. At least not now. I have seen various forms of a "gratitude" project out there in the internet world... Most do make me stop and think. (I'm sure that's the point.) But I have yet to be moved to do one myself - at least publicly. I'm simply going to try to stay thankful in my heart and when I'm so moved to do so on here or there or there... It'll be that much grander to me.

....I've been told I need to write something, anything, every day. I'm working on that... Maybe I'll keep this going with a list. Perhaps a happy list... like all the places in my house I could actually put live flowers/plants where the cats won't eat them! Hmmm....

...

...

I think that list might be too short to count. ;)

"CHEESE!"

2011-02-13T06:00:00.001-05:00

Taken Thursday, January 20, 2011

Perfect family moment.

2011-02-11T21:22:00.000-05:00

John's on the phone tonight (Friday). It's a business call... so I'm sipping my delicious Zinfandel and sorting through some pictures. I came across this:

This picture takes me back to that day (January 31st)... almost two weeks ago... Zoey and I were playing in the front room. I went to the kitchen for "whatever"... when I returned to the front room I found this. The baby of her doll house in this position. Zoey was no longer interested in the dollhouse; she was on to another toy or game.

The rest of the family was situated in their own places. Seen here:

Little Mommy is in the chair, top floor - left side, looking out over the porch area. Little Daddy is in the kitchen, bottom floor - right side, standing at the stove/sink area. And of course, the Baby (Little Zoey) is standing on the toilet at the bathroom sink, top right.

I asked Zoey what the family was all doing... What's the baby up to...? and all...

She said... (The quotes here are as I remember it - since I forgot to write it all down at the time... so I'll use my motherly artistic license here, mind you...)

"The baby's brushing her teeth."

This is hilarious to me because, as you see, the baby is standing on the toilet. That's how Zoey does it here. Her little potty is also a step stool. She stands on her toilet to brush her teeth. Genius, I say!!

"What is everybody else doing?"

Zoey: "Little Daddy is making lunch. And Little Mommy is sitting looking at her flowers." (John and Zoey had played that there was a garden on the side of the house that could be seen from the bedroom porch. They played that WEEKS prior to this little exchange of ours.)

At that time, I asked her many more questions about the family. Zoey had all the answers. She had the perfect little set up and knew exactly why she had placed them in the house. It was AWESOME!!!

**Just thought I'd share that little ditty with you tonight. :)

Making cookies

2011-02-11T08:00:00.002-05:00

Cookies in FIESTA!

I was in the mood to make cookies this week... the day I finally decided to just do it was Wednesday. Zoey doesn't like the mixer. It's too loud for her, I think. So I thought my dreams of making cookies might be over until... Zoey said she's help me after we made brownies...Yep. That's what I said... Brownies first, then cookies. Hmmm... OK!

After the brownies were successfully delivered into the oven... we started on the choco chip love. I set Z up on the other side of the kitchen with her own bowl of batter/dough. (Flour, water, salt, some baking soda - cuz that's what on the recipe, yo!) HA! ...It's "batter" to her most of the time because that's how we got started with pancake batter... she's learning the small details to what we call which. :)

The first set of cookies was sans chips, but plus red sugar sprinkles for Valentine's day (at least that was the plan). *Note Fiesta ramekin! :)

Brownie batter face!! YUM!

"Show me the spoon." :)

Waiting for the cookies to bake.

More waiting... see our smiling faces in the oven door?!? :)

*Oh and yes, Zoey did well with the mixer on. She made the noise like the mixer pretty much anytime it was on. But she didn't cry or run into the other room. When I was done she asked me to "put the mixer away?" All in all a very very good experience!! :)

Happy hearts!

2011-02-10T14:04:00.000-05:00

This Valentine's Day may not be here quite yet, but we did a bit of early celebrating this past weekend at Sun Valley. Zoey handed out a few handmade "Balentimes" and my sister made Zoey some super cute knitted hearts! We had a loverly day hanging out with the family and even played a board game! (That's a real, not sarcasic, exclaimation point! I like games.) Even with all of the fun (and I even put on makeup so as not to be totally embarrassed if my face ended up somebody else's blog... ah hem...) No one took a single picture! What?! I know... So, Tracy asked me to take a few of the hearts for her "finished projects" blog. I happily did just that:

Just some fun with tones and contrast...

Three hearts: red, pink, and purple ("beet"-purple, if you will!)

I spelled out H E A R T S on the floor. "Hearts," I said. Zoey added... "P D C... That spells hearts!"

Zoey loves her hearts, but was just a little bored taking pictures over and over and over. She humors me! :)

Thanks Seester for the fun toys. Zoey's favorite thing to do with them is throw them. I can't say I blame her, they are fun to throw. ;) She also mixes them in with her knitted veggies... but I have yet to see her cook any hearts. Perhaps she may bake some into cupcakes or brownies one day. :) That would be "tasty!"

Cee-gars and friendly faces

2011-01-27T23:21:00.000-05:00

My sweet husband has a birthday coming up. He's turning 32. To some, this isn't a "special" birthday.. or at least special enough... It's not 21 or 30 or 40 or 50... But, to me, any and every birthday is special. :) So, when said dear sweet husband requested a party (which he hasn't ever before)... I said... "um, do we really know enough people to warrant a party?!" HA! And then I said... "If you want it, YOU GOT IT!" :)

His birthday isn't until the 30th (shared with Uncle Jim, Joey, Ben, Cameron, and a host of others I'm sure)... but we have close friends hosting a big shin-dig that weekend (um, this weekend)... so we decided to party early!!

Here's the photographic evidence!

Here are the cigars! I made them! Yep, I did!

More cigars. Have you noticed yet that they are made of chocolate?! Even the bartender couldn't tell. He was trying to find a place for people to smoke them. He told John that people might be able to go out on the roof?! HA!

The happy couple. **A couple of people used my camera. So there were more than 300 picctures...most out of focus! :)

Holly acting as Jackie Chan! Hilarious!! (Chan DVDs were part of a bday gift.)

Some friends!! (When I put this up on FB, I said it would have been even a better picture had I realized my camera was smarter than me... it picked super cool focus on Holly's face and everyone else is blurry! Oh well... I'm learning. AND, how good does Holly look!?!) :)

One of my favorites! This is my friend, Cat. Her New Year's Resolution was to get me out more. I'm ok with that! :)

The birthday boy!! Isn't he cute!?! :)

This is Scott. I'm not sure if he'd like this picture, but I think it looks pretty cool. (John wants to see it in black and white... I'll do that when I get my fancy dancy photo software... oh, yeah, and that new computer! someday...) ;)

Cat and her hubby, Joe. I just love this picture. It captures a moment. So fresh and real. So cute!!

This isn't any great photo, but it has some great people in it!!

The dessert table!! I made the chocolate covered pretzels into "cigars." I made my first ever from-scratch cupcakes. The brownies were for fun. The candles (not lit yet) are a MUST for any Miller party. The napkins... (I never took a picture of the napkins!!) Well, I hand-stamped a cigar box on each one. :) The tables were decorated with candles and giant magazine ads featuring cigars, liquor, watches, and a few cars. :) -Thanks, Cigar Aficionado.

All in all we had such a wonderful time!! It makes me want to have more parties! Well, it makes me want to GO to more parties!! And, it makes me think I should bring back the summer birthdays luau THIS summer...hmmm...?!? :)

*Special thanks to my Mother in Law for missing the party and hanging out here with Zoey. (Even though I did have a nice, responsible teenager that I truly trust available to sit... she's even YMCA certified... Next time, Joyce... When you're ready.) ;) xoxo

A Mama Moment in Weaning

2011-01-24T21:16:00.000-05:00

**Note: I have been in the "process" of weaning Zoey for... months?... now. I think about it. I read about it. John and I talk about it. I talk to others about it. I try this and that... So, this post may seem out of the blue or strange to read to some, but I assure you this isn't a new thing. I just haven't felt compelled to write about it until now.

It’s a Monday night. I just put Zoey to bed. It’s a bittersweet moment. I just put her to bed…without nursing. at. all. She hasn’t nursed since last night and that was even short. Last night, she stopped mid-nurse and said she wanted to read a story. I told her if we stopped to read a story, we would go to bed right after the story. She agreed. And she did. She went to bed, no tears – no worries.

Tonight, I thought I’d try the same maneuver... “forget” to read a story, stop mid nurse… easy peasy. Well, she asked for the story “Me and My Mom!” I actually like that book. I still tried to “forget.” No stopping this girl… She asked for the Princess book. So, okay… weaning takes time… I wasn’t going to make this stressful. We read the Ariel story out of the Princess book. Then she asked again for “Me and My Mom!”

I said if we read the book now, she’d go to bed afterward. She didn’t flinch. Hesitantly, I asked if she’d rather nurse. She preferred the book. I said we could read it and she’d go to bed right after we finished it. She was cool with it.

My heart sunk a bit… I picked up the book and as we read the title, I thought… could this be it? Could I have weaned this beautiful sweet baby girl without pomp and circumstance? I almost cried. I almost pulled out my breast to “have one last time” to really be present in the moment of nursing my baby. I’m almost crying just thinking about it.

I pulled myself together and thought… eh, the way things work here, she’ll probably go back to the old way tomorrow night – just go with it – I can have my moment then. But I as I read that story about a baby bear cub and her mom… oh, how I lingered with the words and snuggled with my sweet Zoey. We “Grrrowled” together. We counted the fish. We wiggled and shook the water off of our bear backs… And then I got up and put her in the crib.

The biggest difference was trying to find the blankets in the dark – not having our eyes adjusted by sitting, nursing in the dark beforehand. We talked about it. We found our blankets. We said our “Good nights” and our “I Love Yous.”

I walked out of the room.

My heart is still a bit sunken deeply into my chest right now. No one knows what tomorrow’s bedtime routine will be.

In any case… I’ll have to take my own advice. …I told my friend, Addie, today on Facebook (after she was lamenting not having gone to get the video camera to record some moment she had witnessed with her son)… that she should be happy she was there, LIVING the moment with him and didn’t miss it because she had run to get the camera. Isn’t that what is really the most important thing? Living, being IN the moment…. Even if somehow last night turned out to be THE night, THE night I weaned my sweet baby girl, well, I will always remember that the very next night – tonight - I held her close and we read “Me and My Mom!” before she went to sleep.

Winter Windowsill Tea Party

2011-01-14T09:39:00.000-05:00

In the wide world of the internet, one of the blogs I read (SouleMama) has this thing she does every Friday: {this moment}. That is where she posts a picture about a moment from the week that she'd like to remember or pause to reflect on or whatever... it's posted without words. It expresses the feeling, the mood.... it's pretty cool.

I thought I'd try that. ....however.... could you imagine me without words?! Or geesh, even she me picking ONE picture?!

I tried.

Then I thought about the Grandmas... And just how cute some of these pictures are that I sorted. I thought, gee, those Grandmas (and Aunts and Cousins...) sure would like some MORE pictures. And it is MY blog... If I want to write... so.... Here's my {moment(s)}:

I love this one because of the feeling, the faint colors of the lights in the tree, the pigtails!!

Cute.

Here, I believe she was telling me something... Perhaps what we were drinking?!

This was another choice for my ONE {this moment}. It just captured that little bit of time.

Here are some just for fun - trying out my camera -shots. I'm still not used to my new lens (or my old one for that matter)... so I just keep shooting and every once in a while, I get one in focus! ha!

None of these shots are photoshoped or messed with... the computer John got me for Christmas is currently in a box, ready to be returned for a full refund... so, I still can't load any fancy software or see on a pretty and bright screen.... (although the day or two that I could look at a big BRIGHT pretty screen were wonderful and made me realize I shouldn't even try to mess with my pictures until I can actually SEE the process.) So, enjoy what's here and perhaps one day, when I have time (and not ignoring my toddler, as now)... I'll be able to make them all fancy and light-corrected and what not. :)

Paper snowflakes and Princess tea sets on our jumping bed of BIG pillows. (and a hula hoop thrown in... 'cause that's how we roll.)

Winter lights, tea party sights, paper snowflakes fill our (days and) nights!

**Oh and for the archivists, these pictures were taken on Tuesday, the 11th.

Dad's 64th Birthday Celebration!

2011-01-13T09:11:00.000-05:00

My Dad turned 64 on Monday. Sunday afternoon we all gathered to celebrate our favorite guy! My Dad loves white chocolate most anything... my plan was to make white choco fudge. I thought it would be sweet, but still easy to eat. Tracy told me it probably wouldn't turn out very well if the chips I bought weren't made with real coco butter. (She's the master baker. I'll take her word - without question.) They weren't much more than sugar.... so rather than making a mess of it, I simply made a GIANT white choco chip cookie. Delia helped me decorate it. It was uber super sweet, but still tasty. :)

Delia, Grandpa, Zoey and Grandma

Delia blowing snow!

In the afternoon, Zoey and Delia went out to play in the snow! They are so cute. Delia is such a wonderful big cousin. I was a bit worried a year ago or so... Zoey just wanted to be with her every second and (at that time) Delia just wanted to read. It was hard. NOW... Zoey still wants to be with her every second and Delia is very nice and plays with her. They are the cutest things!!

HUG!!

Getting ready to venture outside. SO stinkin' cute!

Zoey has taken to giving the "thumbs up" lately. She was all about it this weekend!! Everyone played along!

Delia putting some finishing touches on the cookie. (Baked on Fiestaware, of course!!)

Happy Birthday, Daddy!! We love you so very much!! :)

Christmas 3: Sun Valley

2011-01-12T08:00:00.002-05:00

Sunday after Christmas we piled into the little car and drove over the river and through the woods to Grandma Pat and Grandpa Stan's house. Zoey was 100% better and we were ready to enjoy the holiday. It had been a good six months since I'd seen my sister and her family. (We missed Turkey day due to sickness... we weren't going to let that happen again! And Zoey was in good spirits to do it!)

Cousin cuties!!

John

My seeester.

Grandma and her fiesta!!! ...and her hooch! :)

Keith and his hooch!

This next one isn't the best picture, but it features some of the best times of the day and since then. My incredibly talented sister knitted a bunch of vegetables and a shopping bag for Zoey. They are to compliment her new kitchen from Santa. Tracy said she thought Z could use them to make healthy snacks. And boy, howdy, she has! I hope to take some better pictures of the cutest food ever... here's hoping that will make it's own post. In any case, they are probably my favorite thing of all Christmas gifts this year.

Zoey and her veggies!

This picture is entitled "All pictures of Christmas" simply because that was the joke... Keith's head or someone else's (usually his) would end up in just about every photo my Mom took. Not on purpose, mind you, it just happened. THIS photo was kinda on purpose. :)

I'll end our Christmas saga with just a simple one of Zoey and a present.

We are all so blessed for ALL of our Christmas and Solstice bounties and time together! Much love to all. Here's hoping I can get back on the wagon of posting! Happy New Year!

Christmas 2: Miller's Homestead

2011-01-11T08:00:00.005-05:00

Joyce's beautiful tree!

Hello All! Here's the Part Two of our Christmas Trilogy: Grandma and Grandpa Millers.

After a worried morning at the Manor, we spent a few hours up at the Miller homestead. We had a very nice time opening presents and sharing some holiday cheer. Uncle Bill joined us (Sarah spent time with her folks and then joined us later that night).

How we spent much of the day... checking the baby's temperature. She's used to it.

The game: opening up the kitchen items, dumping them on the floor. Someone else putting them in a bag. Zoey dumping them on the floor. Good times.

Love Zoey's face opening up the dollhouse from Grandma and Grandpa!

Grandpa! One of my favorite holiday photos! :)

Grandma doesn't like us to take her picture. (I think she's afraid, like those people in the historial museum exhibits, it will capture her soul.) ;) So this is a picture of "Little Daddy." He came with the family in Zoey's dollhouse. He's quite happy to play as stand-in for Grandma. (**By the way, I do have pictures of her... because no matter what she says, someday Zoey will want to have pictures of her Grandma.)

Uncle Bill!

Christmas at the Manor

2011-01-10T12:22:00.000-05:00

Christmas at the Manor was a bit different than I had expected this year... And, I'll start with saying I'm sorry it has taken this long to get any information (aka pictures) to my faithful followers.

In brief, Zoey was sick. Normally we go to my Mom and Dad's on Christmas Eve. This year we decided to extend the holiday and spend the Eve here and go to Sun Valley on Sunday after the big day. It's a good thing we did. I'm afraid we might not have caught her sudden fever had we been celebrating and driving back that night. Her fever came on right about dinnertime. (And fevers are scary for us with this little one.)

Christmas morning wasn't met with the bright-eyed toddler experiencing the magic of lights and Christmas goodies that we had intended... Overnight her fever went up. Story short: Zoey spent Christmas morning in the bathtub. Instead of seeing her Ariel Mermaid doll hanging out of her stocking, Mama got to deliver it to her in the tub. No seizures, no trips to the Er. Thank God. It was the best it could have been for the situation.

Before we got her in the tub, Zoey threw up some nasty ick. We called Grandma and Grandpa and woke them up (Grandpa having not slept more than about 45 mins due to sinus pressure or something...) but they came right down in the SNOW anyway. After medications were delivered, towels acted as fun blankets in the water, and all, Zoey did get her moment to walk into the living room and see Santa's goodies. Mama and Daddy got to see magic through her eyes. It was really nice. I was glad to have the Grandparents here, even if for not the best reasons.

I kept thinking that day, "What do normal people do?" As in, I have a feeling most adults, most parents, don't run and call their Mommys (or Mommy-in-laws) when the kid gets sick. It was probably just a little bug, even if she did fever up again throughout the day, bad enough at dinner that I called the ER trying to talk to someone-anyone about medications and dosing... -Just a bug, because she was better the next day. Much better. Better so we felt confident enough to expose her to my Dad. (That's part 3 of the story... to come.) But I digress... We did call Grandma. We do call. I call my mom, John's mom... I ask for advise (sometimes I take it, sometimes I don't). Do other people do that? Does it really matter? I suppose I think too much. "It takes a village, right?!" I'm just so happy we have the support.

Our sick baby on Christmas morning.

Daddy feeding Zoey some breakfast while she played on her new slide. (Even sick kids still play! Thankfully!)

Now that I have explained the not-so-fun reasons we will remember this Christmas, I can tell you we did have fun in the midst of it all. I made breakfast for everyone. We got to watch our little girl play. We opened presents and all the normal Christmasy things. :)

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas at the Manor without pictures of our furry babies... This is a close up of Annie.

Here's our fatty, Crinklehead. :)

Zoey exploring her kitchen from Santa!

Christmas bounty! Yes, that's "A Christmas Story" on the TV. We turned it on Christmas Eve night. We didn't actually get to watch it this year, but that's ok.

Outtakes!

2010-12-13T21:55:00.000-05:00

Here are some outtakes from the mini photo session I pulled together this morning for our Christmas card... Actually the whole thing could be considered one big outtake - because I was just messing around. She's not even "dressed up" for a special card. But then I decided, to just roll with it and order anyway!! This is real life Christmas, baby!!

I almost used this one as part of the card -simply because it's the face she makes at me a bunch lately. "Real Life, yo!"

This one is simply titled "Bored."

Too bad this one wasn't in focus - or exposed properly! :)

One of a series of "Runaway" shots....

More evidence of how the whole thing went this morning... :)

Bribery....

And, just in case you were checking out my house... We still haven't put any ornaments on the tree. We might just skip it this year. Zoey and the cats are doing really well not messing with anything as it is... and while at Grandma Pat's house, she tried to take every ornament off. I think I can handle the simple beauty of just lights this year... skip the possibility of something getting broken or eaten or chased around the floor at night (that'd be by the cats). :) Or we may put up a few way at the top (like we did when the cats were kittens), but eh... we shall see.

And nope, my furniture isn't usually like this... but moving everything makes a mean area to pretend to ice skate and we frequently move things around for massive dance parties in the afternoon!!

In the runaway shot you can see the balled up quilts on the hearth... Usually those are spread out for two reasons... 1) an attempt to keep some cold air out and 2) a slight buffer in case Zoey would happen to fall.

Oh and none of these pictures have been edited... like at. all. I'm just not into it - especially without the proper equipment.

Those are just a few of my secrets!! Happy almost Solstice and Christmas!!

"This is Cap."

2010-12-09T09:21:00.000-05:00

Sometimes Zoey calls me “Daddy” or John “Mommy” – I wonder if she just gets so excited that she uses the first name that comes to mind or if she knows I’m right there with her, so she wants to get Daddy’s attention by using his name (whether he’s there or not). Sometimes I wonder if she just gets confused. In any case, I have no worries about how smart she is! Case in point…. While we were getting ready for bed after her bath, she was hiding in her towel as I dressed her. She would hide her face and say “Where’s Zoey?” or “Where’s Zoey, Mama?” or “Where’s Zoey, Daddy?” When she said Daddy one of the times this time (and John wasn’t here), I decided to really see where her mind was at that point.

I asked: “Who am I?” (pointing to my chest) **We used to play that game with her all of the time when she was tiny – trying to get her to learn names – with anyone in the room. Back then (and even up to recently) she’d say “Mama” or “Grandma” or whoever. Then when we’d point to her and say “Who are you?” She’d point back to herself and say “Zoey.”

Tonight I got this…

Zoey: “You’re Mama. I'm Zoey.”

Me: (Slightly taken aback at the completeness of it all and use of contractions… )

Zoey: “You’re Mom. I’m Zoe.” (As in Zo… not Zo-EE)

Wow! I thought… That’s really cool. My kid got that concept of shortening the names (and use of contractions…. She may have been doing that before, but not that stuck out to me like that moment)!

We talked back and forth about that and other random –I don’t remember at this point- things….

Later on I asked (trying to see if she’d do it again): “Who’s Mama?”

Zoey: “Zoey’s Mama!” (Thinking I said “Whose Mama?”)

I was totally surprised by this! She’s been calling my friends things like “Kalis’ Mom” or “Tula’s Mom.” Those two girls are in art class with her and the moms are good friends of mine.

Then I asked her: “Who is This?” (Pointing to Captain Picard action figure. Yeah, we’re geeks and I love it!!)

Zoey: “Captain Picard." (Or as she says, "Captain Titard.") "You’re Mom. I’m Zoe. This is Cap.”

Ah, I just thought that was the cutest exchange of the day and I had to share!!

I have no idea what milestones or whatever toddlers are supposed to hit when, but I must admit, I think my kid is pretty darn smart. And I’ll tell anyone that! ;)

Zoey and her Batman helemt! (Thanks to Uncle Bill for letting her borrow it for awhile.) ;)

Daddy and Z prepare to go outside. Early November 2010

Zoey plays with the rocks from my blessingway. She's making her own Celtic ceremony circle, perhaps?! Late October 2010

*Note, I originally wrote this last night. But my computer froze... so here you go this morning! :)

Projects for Grandparents

2010-12-06T10:41:00.000-05:00

This December has turned out to be a beautiful snowy one. And still, I haven't bought any snow boots for Zoey yet. So, we've been doing some artsy projects inside mostly.

This weekend was Grandpa John's birthday. Zoey made him a card:

This picture reminds me of Delia when she was a wee one. It must be the hair.

Here's our left-handed girl!

Wonder what she's making for Grandma Pat's house?! Hmmmm....

After visiting Grandma Pat and Grandpa Stan this weekend, we realized that some more holiday cheer was in order for them... in the form of decorations. Delia did a good job on the tree, but we thought we'd add some more when we come back. (I was planning on hanging lights in Dad's room, buit forgot the command strips - so we'll be back hopefully this week.)

These pictures in the Thomas PJs are from THIS morning, yo! Whoa! I'm trying to get some updates on this, here, blog... (But I must say, I'm not so happy with the new blogger uploading format... boo. I suppose I'll get better as I go.)

We hope you all are having a great December!!

Photo of the Day: In the Tunnel

2010-11-12T22:36:00.000-05:00

Hey Kids! I'm working on posting more often. Although I must say, I'm keeping it all light for awhile. Light in style and content, that is.
Here's Miss Z hanging out at the playground. We met up with some friends and I shot tons of pictures.
(And Leslie, I have been shooting in "P" mode ever since we chatted. Wow, I Luh-ove knowing more! And whoa! give me some white balance baby!!) Not that this is the greatest photo in terms of quality or whatever, I just couldn't resist her face! :)
*And, another note, this photo isn't re-touched at all - not that most of mine are anyway, but no brightness or temp changes here. I'm au naturale, yo! I might go back and lighten her up at some point, but for now.. it's late. I'm tired. And this kid still wakes up at 5:30 in the morning no matter what I do!

A quick look at Halloween 2010

2010-11-10T22:55:00.000-05:00

We dressed Zoey up as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz this year. She doesn't, however, know who Dorothy is yet. So, I told her she was "Princess Dorothy." She liked that. :)

Here she is fully dressed - complete with Toto in a basket, her Ruby Red Sneakers (hand glittery-glue painted by Mama), and of course, Princess Dorothy's trusty Bunny. ;)

Here's a look at the party we attended. It was outside at the park and COLD!! Daddy bought her this knitted hat at a little yarn store right down the street. (A great bargain and super functional for the cool, not yet winter, weather.) Perhaps next year I'll plan her costume around a sweat suit. :)

Reunion Preview

2010-10-21T22:33:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we went to a reunion (Ole John's Mother's side). I intend to fill your minds with beautiful fall pictures of Zoey in the leaves and such, but I'm a wee bit tired. (More on that later.) So, here's a preview of the cuteness to come! Happy October, everyone!

**As a side, I'm still having major issues loading header photos. But at least when this one automatically cropped more than half the photo out, you can see even better why I decided to post some random kid's eye... ME!! (Can you see me?! Huh, can ya? Can ya?!) And that "random kid" is somehow related to us... he (part of a set of twins) was at the reunion, but I couldn't find anyone who could remember his name. No, I didn't ask the mom... she was a bit busy chasing three-year old twin boys! :)

Seven Year Itch

2010-10-12T12:09:00.006-04:00

My husband - my sweet wonderful husband - and I celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary yesterday. Seven years. We've been together almost ten. Crazy. Wonderful.

We've had our ups and downs, like most everyone. I must say we've had more ups - thankfully!!

Every anniversary has been a special one. The tradition up to this weekend has always been to go somewhere completely new to us (usually a new restaurant). We've tried out a new pizza place, a new-to-us tropical bar. A couple of those anniversaries we have even been able to toast each other with champagne at the moment we kissed at our wedding (marked at that time by the local clock tower's bell - totally not planned! ultra cool).

This year we are celebrating with a new "someplace new to us." It's more of a commitment to each other. ...More of an emotional place. We didn't sit down to discuss it. In all reality, we started and then decided to really make a commitment and talk about it, about us, our life together.

I think those are the best new changes, the ones that happen organically. I think those really stick.

This all kind of ties into my desire to get fit too. I've decided not to force myself to work out or fret about my body in reguards to how others will see me. I've really been focusing on my internal image - that's been hard, don't get me wrong. John's been on this journey with me. And I have been with him on his similar quest. We have always had each other's backs. Been supportive of each other's dreams and desires... this time our commitment to each other is evolving even more than as a normal couple grows together. It's pretty cool.

I seem to be rambling here a bit. I apologize. I'm not much for sharing the really close to my heart details with the world. I thought I should document this anniversary because seven years is a milestone - even if only in Marilyn Monroe movies. ;)

Here we are enjoying custom-made sushi and a bottle of "7 Deadly Zins"... It was amazing. We followed it all up with a most decadent flourless chocolate tart!

"....The best is yet to come!" I love you, honey!!!

Her run...

2010-10-01T09:00:00.001-04:00

I love the way Zoey runs. I'm sure it's a stage of development or a typical toddler thing. To me it is magic! The way she pulls up her elbows... The way her steps are deliberate... The concentration on her face - even though her movements, at that moment, are not at the forefront of her mind. (It's usually to where she is running.)

I hope to always remember her little blonde-headed body running in the yard... curls bouncing... her little waist wringing around as her feet carry her to the next moment of wonder.

Apple Picking

2010-09-30T21:55:00.003-04:00

I mentioned our apple picking adventure awhile ago... so, here's the proof! Zoey and I had a wonderful time walking through a local orchard, picking apples, playing at the market, seeing friends. (This post is full of photos - there were so many cute ones, I couldn't decide. There are even more, but I got tired of waiting for the computer!)Here's Miss Z waiting to go - basket in hand!

The beautiful and sweet smelling market. I believe these apples were waiting to go to stores. The cider press is behind the stacks of lucious apples - perhaps they were to become cider... They were so pretty, I'm betting on a trip to a store.

"Look Mama!"

Our first stop: Red Delicious

The whole gang walking through the orchard. What a wonderful bunch of friends!

This kid smells most everything! This red beauty is a relative of the Delicious, but I can't remember the name.

This is Zoey's friend Maks. She thought he was pretty cool. She even thought about hugging him... I have some slightly uncomfortable-looking pix of that. ;) He is the son of my new friend Kelley. I love getting to know new mamas even if it is in short bursts while we chase our kids around. Here's hoping we get to talk someday as adults too!

Mama and Zoey

I must mention here that Zoey picked out her pants that morning. Just told me she wanted to wear "the red ones" - no real reason, I thought. John said of course she wanted to wear those... "They are the color of apples!" I should have realized that! :)

Our bounty!

(I ended up giving some away to my mom and in laws. I thought we never would go through them fast enough... silly me! I never thought of actually making something until I had an apple crisp from another friend's picking adventure... I have to remember that I am somewhat coordinated enough to try these type things! HA! Next year...)

Awesome!

2010-09-23T21:36:00.003-04:00

Zoey and I had a wonderful day today. We went to a local orchard and picked apples with some of our friends. (That will be a post in itself - once I go through all of the photos.)

After apple picking, while Zoey napped (under the supervision of Grandma), I headed on over to my in-laws' house to help out Ole John with a project. While finishing things up there, we noticed this...
Isn't it simply beautiful!?! I didn't mess with these photos at. all. Not one bit. I just took them off the camera and put them up here.

Simply wonderful. It was that kind of day. Fun with friends and family. :)

Take a moment...

2010-09-22T12:52:00.006-04:00

I first watched this video over at Petite Planet. The first time I watched it I was just entranced by the simplistic beauty. My mind stayed focused on the images themselves, but as I tried to get into the message, I thought of sweet Zoey and her light. I watched it a second time to really find my "secret." I have no problems telling you I thought about swinging on the swing set at my Grandma and Grandpa's house... Sun Valley. I closed my eyes and felt my legs kick high into the air. I remember trying so hard to reach my legs and feet over the nearby apple trees. Higher and higher....

So beautiful. So free.

It makes me teary-eyed to think about it even this much.

**Take a moment and enjoy this... the music... the images... the message...

Happy Autumn, everyone! Happy Equinox!

"Once Upon a Time..."

2010-09-20T21:03:00.008-04:00

This afternoon, Zoey read me a story.... sort of. She's hilarious! I have no idea where she's gotten the "Once Upon a Time" thing. None of the stories we have read recently start with this... hmmm.... :)

At the end of the video -when she looks off to the side and starts jumping - that's because when you move in our house all of the 70s-inspired doors jiggle. And they make a "fun" noise. (So, if you are ever in our house at night, now you'll know why we have socks stuck in all of the door frames.) ;)

Zoey had been reading to me for about 5 minutes before I went to get the camera. Doesn't that always happen?! :) So these little ditties capture the jist of the fabulousness! :)

xoxo

Beautiful and Energetic Photos!

2010-09-09T19:00:00.001-04:00

Hey, if you haven't noticed... I've added yet another fantastic piece of eye candy to my blogroll. Ashley Athey Photography. Ashley and I went to college together. Ok, so that's not right... She and I went to the same college, but I don't think we were there at the same time. It's confussing only because after I graduated I still frequented the theatre... we were both theatre geeks, if you will. :)

In any case, she's a great photographer... Even been published in a couple fancy magazines and such. I'm not trying to sell her to you or anything. I just thought some of you might find her photos neat to view.

Everybody knows I'm a sucker for weddings!

Cider Making

2010-09-08T21:40:00.000-04:00

Monday was Labor Day. Sunday night John got a text that invited us to an impromptu cider making party. We are always up for impromptu fun! This time, however, John already had plans. Sweet Zoey and I headed up to the Elliott farm to welcome in fall on our own! :)

Men doing manly men cider-making things. Isn't this press the coolest thing ever!?!

One of the only set of identical twins I've ever seen in person (I think?!)

I believe the kid-to-adult ratio was a bit askew to make light work of just about anything, but everyone seemed to be having a good time. I felt kind of bad that I didn't really do much in the way of "helping." I was much too distracted making sure Zoey didn't get hit by apples literally raining from the trees or her perhaps taking the toy cars for an unintended ride down the long driveway!

Oh, but Zoey was helpful! Oh yes, after much wandering around and getting the lay of the land (and pretty much telling me she had no desire to help me pick up apples and place them in a basket), she took up residence by the apple washing tub. At first, she simply liked playing in the water. Then she got into a rythym with the man next to her. She'd hand him up an apple out of the tub and he'd core it and cut out any icky parts.

I learned a bit about myself at this get together too... but I suppose that's for another time. ;)

Thank You, Aunt Tracy

2010-09-06T21:30:00.000-04:00

My sister knitted up a beautiful sweater for Miss Zoey for her 2nd birthday. I'm sorry it has taken us so long to get anything posted. I took Zoey out in the yard one morning and decided to have our very own fashion shoot to display the fab-o sweater.

The sweater really is beautiful and Zoey likes to wear it. One day last week she actually wore it around over her strawberry PJs along with her blue knitted cap (also from Tracy). Pretty funny! :)

I don't get a chance to tell my sister how much we love her and appreciate her. (I'm not much good at doing that in any case, but I'm working on it.) She and I have our differences, but we both love each other a great deal and that means so much! :)

To me, this picture feels like she's walking the runway! (That or walking a path to meet you in the center of town for a fight...either way... she's totally got it here!) ;)

Here's a funny little one - complete with a cookie from Grandma - that is just so... two-going-on-teenager! HA! (But I think I actually caught her mid-dance and twirl.)

Thank you, seester dear. For the sweater and for being, you know, my big sister. xoxo

On your mark...

2010-08-23T08:43:00.003-04:00

Today I realized I have 10 yeeks until my 10 year college reunion. Yep, it's been a decade since I walked the brick mall of my transition from naive twenty-something to college graduate (still pretty naive, I figure).

I haven't been a big Homecoming-type of person. Ok, so I probably really am... I like wearing the ol' navy blue and white. But I've not made much of a big deal about it because I am truly horrible at staying in touch with people andf it's hard to meet and greet with people you don't talk to much. I find myself not doing college-type activities because I live here and I guess I don't "play in the forest because I see the trees every day"...err, something...

The past year I have been talking to (or at least commenting on the lives of) college friends. I feel like I am connected to some of them enough to be comfortable having a beer and conversation this October.

I'm happy with the way my life is turning out. Not like when I graduated and was working retail at the mall... when I actually caught myself explaining my situation to someone from high school as I bagged her crappy purchase. "Explaining" as in... I think I rammbled on about my "plans"... Yeah, wow, pretty lame...

I'm confident in my life choices. But I must admidt finding out some of your college pals have gone on to travel the world (while saving it in the Peace Corps) all the while running marathons and enjoying the best of life in metropolian DC... well, it could bring a person to think... whoa, what AM I doing?! HA!

But no seriously. I am happy with my life. John and I have discussed using this 10 week timeline to address that pesky area of our life with which we aren't so happy... health. More aptly, body image and energy.

I'm hesitant about blogging this information. Because if I don't do anything over the next 10 weeks - or geesh, if I don't do anything past today.... eek, that would be a big ol' bag o' crap to have blogged on and on about blah blah.... You see what I'm saying?

But I've decided to write a bit about my journey over the next 10 weeks to see if I can actually do SOMETING!!! Anything! To get my body, mind, soul into a healthier place. And if I look ROCKIN' HOT when I see said marathon-running-saint... that'll be ok too! Because Amy, yes, that's her name.... and I LOVE her, really. She's an amazing person with a great heart. And she's SUPER smart!! Well, she's done different things over the last 10 years from what I have done. But look, we are ending up back in the same place for at least one weekend and I want to embrace that. (And all of the others that may be returning.)

And, it's be sweet to look ROCKIN' HOT for my own self and my hubby! ;)

Wish me luck (or curse me silently to yourself)! It's no skin off my back - but hopefully it'll all result in some fat off my belly and some smooth muscular arms, yo!!

CSA in bloom

2010-08-20T12:19:00.000-04:00

My new friend Caroline has a farm. I've never been there (although that should change come fall for a sweet mama*ology get-together - I hope!) In any case, she has been offering up her farm goodies all summer... I didn't realize this! What?! Yeah, I've missed most of the summer (bummer!) BUT... Once I figured it all out, I signed up for her weekly deliveries. (She's the best because she'll let us know what is about to be harvested and then we can decide if we want a big bag, small bag, or to skip the week - very cool.) For the past two weeks, the Miller Manor has had a small bag of fresh, local goodies!
I took pictures of the bounty the first week - I just never got anything up on the ol' blog. This past week, we ate lots before snapping any shots! ;) The best part of Caroline's bountiful bags - for me - is the flowers. Ok, I love the tomatoes too... the edamame, the blueberries, zucchini, peppers... oh, and this last week we had PEACHES!! The best peaches I have ever had - seriously. YUM! You can see some of those wonderful peaches (and a smidge of zuc) in the background - there next to my Fiesta mixing bowl set.

My initiation to the world of CSA involved sunflowers! I love sunfllowers. Here's one of my favorite photos that I have taken. (They look so much better here than in the first photo - because this was the fresh pic and the first was a week later.)

So many wonderful colors!!

Here are some of Caroline's fresh Ohio tomatoes and Black-eyed Susans from our yard. Zoey picked them and they sit just so beautifully in an Absinthe glass on the kitchen windowsill.

I have been eagerly anticipating autumn... but these fllowers and fresh goodies make me stop and smile at summer for a bit. :)

View from my...Toilet Humor

2010-08-05T14:23:00.002-04:00

Sometimes stupid things just strike me as funny at the most random times. Case in point:

This is the view (today) from the toilet. I chuckled to myself at this close up:

Yes, I've seen this package at least one hundred times. Yes, it's moronic. Yes, I still giggled. And, yes, I decided to share!

Ol' Crazy Eyes and her big stick!

2010-08-04T12:04:00.004-04:00

I couldn't resist this picture today! This was taken after playing in the sprinkler a couple of weeks ago. The swim suit was a generous hand-me-down... a bit small, so I think we'll pass it on rather quickly.
I think she gets her flare for the dramatic from me and her father. (Oh, those stinkin' theatre people!) ;) She is the cutest little person ever!

Some Music at the Manor

2010-08-03T11:47:00.002-04:00

Uncle Bill came over a while back and played guitar for Miss Zoey. She loves when "Untel" Bill plays. This time she danced some and accompanied him on her tiny piano.

In this picture, she's looking off to the side to watch herself in the mirror. This kid LOVES to look at herself. As a side, Uncle Bill was showcasing his musical prowess by playing a 6-string guitar that currently only has 5 strings!

Here is a perfect picture of the whirling dervish that is Zoey! She's a bllluuurrrr!! :) (Photos taken July 18th.)

Celebrate Boobies!!

2010-08-02T11:47:00.009-04:00

This week is World Breastfeeding Week!! Since I am a strong supporter of breastfeeding, I thought it would be a great idea to share this event with all of you - my loyal blog followers! (This is also a gret way to get my bootie back into posting more frequently.)

This is the *new* symbol to represent breastfeeding. It was designed as part of a campaign on mothering.com (great site and magazine!!). The GUY that designed it is a stay-at-home dad! SO COOL!!

I don't have many pictures of me nursing Zoey. (Sad, yes, but I think it's because I'm usually the one taking the pictures!) This one - I love!! - was taken by my friend Julia while we were at Broughton's Nature Preserve back in May. We were actually attending a mama*ology "Photo Fun" workshop on learning to use our cameras. I think it just wonderfully captures the moment.... me laughing, sweet Z having a snack (and examining her foot)!

Here's one of the nursing photos that I've taken of myself. I just love the way her little hand tightly clutching my shirt. And...ooooh that hair! It's been so beautiful since the beginning! :) This was a beautiful fall day in the park (October 14, 2008). I wrote about this day here and here.

This picture shows the "milk coma" after a nursing. It was taken on July 31, 2008 (that makes Zoey just more than one month old). So sweet!!

Zoey is 25 months now and we are still nursing!

**Oh, and here's a link to a super cute Sesame Street video about b/feeding! (Thanks, Betsy!)

In the words of Ouiser Boudreaux...

2010-08-01T12:20:00.003-04:00

"Yes, Annelle, I pray..."

Since having a child, my views about God have -not necessarily changed - but have become clearer. a little bit. I have always been a person that believes in ...something... I was just not sure exactly what or whom or how to define that something. (Ok, so I still struggle with this concept... or at least still wonder/wander.)

Since getting pregnant and having Zoey. Laboring naturally, delivering as naturally as one can within a hospital setting... feeling the miracle of life, watching the people around me during such a magical time... seeing, holding, smelling, truly feeeeling my child, my baby, my heart outside of my body... all of that has made me know for sure. for sure. that there is an eternal wisdom. there is a Holy Spirit. Yes, I have made the leap to say "God."

I still believe in spirits and nature and imagination and love and more... I think I'm confortable now with my own vision of God. And I'm fairly certain he's ok with me. :)

.....

I have eluded to the "worst 24 hours" of my life in past posts, but never really explained. On May 19th, 2010 Zoey suffered a seizure. The resulting 24 hours... days... months at this point... was heartbreaking and scary. They have also helped me learn to love more deeply and cherish each precious moment.

They also helped to direct my thoughts about what I truly believe. (Especially after this past week.) I'm sure that's terrible to say, but also quite positive that's exactly how many begin the journey.

If you don't know about febrile seizures, the quick and dirty is that they are caused by fevers. They are usually only seen in young children and babies. Most (if not all) children grow out of them. In May, we were told that since Zoey was older when she experienced her seizure (she was 23 months as opposed to say, 6 months), that it would be very rare that she would ever have another one.

Last Sunday evening around 6 p.m., she had another one.

John and I knew it was going to happen. The pattern was the same... mild 99 degree fever in the morning/early afternoon, sluggish behavior... baby getting hotter and hotter...

This time we gave her Tylenol at 2 p.m - went for a drive (seriously, I didn't think another "bad episode" was even plausable)...when we came back, her temp was higher. We tried to give her Ibuprofin, she violently refused. I nursed her to calm her down. She nursed for nearly 45 mins - not average, by any means in the afternoon.

I told John she was getting really hot and we HAD to get the meds in her. He knew it too. He had wanted to force meds earlier. We forced. She threw up - everything. We ran to take her to the shower - John stripped down to his unders and she violently refused to get in (the little shower has a door and she hung on...) We decided to try water in the kitchen. We saw her start to leave us...

John said, "It's going to happen again."

I started to freak. He was right.

Her stare went blank and John went to lay her down on the carpet. He said, "Get Larry, he's in the back yard." Larry is our neighbor. He's the local Sherriff. He's a nice guy that has known John's family since he was one or so. He has grandkids - one, Cameron, was born on John's birthday - just months older than Zoey. Zoey loves them.

I ran to get him - arms flailing - as they did two months earlier.

The seizure this time was MUCH less dramatic than the first. Probably only a few seconds - no rigidity as before. But I was still scared. The damn doctors told me that it wasn't likely to happen ever again. and now, here it is two months later!

I called the squad and we went to the ER. Miss Zoey was tired from the seizure, but looked as good as one could expect. John arrived shortly. Just behind him was Grandma Joyce. Last time, I was strapped to the geurney with Zoey and Joyce rode with us.

This time we knew what to expect from the situation, but I was still so raw from being told it wouldn't happen again... We knew to ask for the IV therapy team (to avoid having her stuck twice). The same lady that did the blood draws last time was there this time. Thank God! She remembered us and we remembered what to do: wrap Z's legs to avoid kicking, stick right hand (our girl is a lefty). This time I ended up singing to her as her blood was drawn and a hep-loc added. I have no idea what I was singing. It just happened. I think I was making up a song - of encouragement - mostly for myself, I figure. I think, however, it pretty much helped everyone there at that moment. The nurses actually thanked us (me and Joyce) for our help in the situation.

Her tests came back clear this time. Last time, Zoey was admitted into the Peds ward because she had elivated white cell levels and a whole mess of other things in her urine and blood. Neither time could anyone give us an answer to "Why?" Most likely it was a virus - both times.

Our family doc was on vacation this week and so we ended up taking Zoey to the Pediatrician that had seen her in the hospital the day after she was admitted. That doctor was so very nice to us in the hospital, we felt comfortable taking Zoey there. That is until after telling her how hard it was to get Zoey to take any medicine this time. We were asking for help, for suggestions on how to give her the meds to keep the fever down. (We had driven back to the ER at 2 in the morning because we couldn't get her to take the meds - by love or by force - and were afraid she'd seize agian. The ER staff was amazing and helped us. This Ped doc was all..."don't stress her out, just let her seize." WHAT!?

This philosophy, while understandable now that we have read EVERYTHING possible about febrile seizures, was still unacceptable to us. If giving the kid a dose of Children's Advil every six hours would not hurt her stomach or liver or anything AND would keep her from seizing, by damn, that's what we're gonna do. The doc gave us no advice or help - simply left the room to get us some more paperwork to read. Gee, thanks.

I scheduled the appointment that afternoon at the time that would be the next dose - so I could get a nurse or someone to help me.... but NOOOO! We got more paperwork saying "Chill out, yo!" Umm, again, thanks. John and I simply tried to ask Zoey to take her meds. "You can do it by yourself." And she was just distracted enough by the facy-schmancy room that she did. :)

This time her fever lasted until Thursday... Yep, five days. FIVE. All of the kiddo medications bottles say "...if symptoms last longer than three..." the internet says "...lasts longer than four..." One of John's friends has a kid (18 or 19 years old now) that just recovered from a "five-day fever." He stayed in bed the whole time and felt sluggish, but no other signs. That news did make us feel a bit better about it all.

We kept dosing our little kiddo with meds. ...Here, we are the parents that would rather mix up some herbs or line the window sill with crystals (simply colorful examples here, folks! but you get the picture... we shy away from the traditional medicines)... watching the clock, taking her temperature (and our own, to make sure the digital temperal thermometer was indeed still working) and mixing up Zoey's "Moon Juice."

Yep, the moon was our saving grace this trip around the ol' sickness tree. Zoey loves the moon (it is the "planet" that reigns over Cancerians, too). After trying many different approaches to med delivery... we tried mixing it with juice...and tried many different ways to get her to drink said juice... Then John told her the moon really wanted her to drink her juice. And with that, her eyebrows met her forehead with a gasp! She was super excited to impress the moon and once she drank it all we took her outside to say goodnigh to the moon. That worked every night. :)

So, here it is one week later. Sweet Zoey is taking a nap. We've been worried about her every moment this week. You see, much to the exact OPPOSITE of what we were told the first time this happened... kids that suffer a febrile seizure once are more likely to have another one... Zoey is now "prone" to them. They don't cause permanent brain damage (even though one set of papers the ER sent us home with mentioned said brain damage - yeah, thanks, f**kers.)

I didn't write anything after the first one for many reasons... time passed...I didn't feel the need to post such intimate details. On that note, I've realized this blog is a story about my life. And whether anyone reads it or not...whether anyone finds what I say to be compelling or thoughtful, needless or absurd, it doesn't matter. I'll have this record on which to reflect in years to come. -The good moments and the not so good. I can't sit down and recall every powerful moment of the last week... the last few months... but every little snipet that makes it onto this blog will help me remember and hopefully make a rich picture for Zoey someday. :)

Bubbles in our PJs!

2010-07-15T12:33:00.003-04:00

Earlier this week, as the rain fell outside... we decided to play in the bubbbles on the back porch. (In our PJs, mind you... afterwards we had so much bubble goo in our hair, Zoey got to take a bath and then a nap!)

These two are a bit dark. When I get the bigger computer hooked up, I'll have better access to fancy dancy programs and such. Until then, I thought they still caught a fun look on her face. :)

Mmmmm... bubble goo makes a great face wash.

Piano.

2010-07-12T20:25:00.000-04:00

It's funny... how the universe groups things... how ideas tend to gather in the great ether....

A few nights ago, while waiting to get into the bathtub before bed, Zoey and John and I were playing in the front room. Zoey was wound up crazy, like normal. In an attempt to focus her for a minute, we asked her to play us a song on her piano. Normally this would me that she'd slam and bang and laugh. This time she very gingerly croutched in front of the tiny piano and played a tune. Really. She thought about where her fingers were on the keys. (Mostly using her index fingers.) She listened to the sounds coming from the little wooden box. She looked for reactions from us and smiled... a lot. It was absolutely wonderful!

We talked about the piano he had as a kid in his house, as well as the one I had in my childhood home. We thought about where we would put one in our house - someday.

Then the next day (I think), my sister posted a little ditty from another blog that we both read. This post contained a picture of the author's family piano - newly restored. It made Tracy think of the pianos we had as a kid (much forgotten in the black hole that is my childhood of memories).

All of this piano-ness has me thinking about Christmas carols at my cousins' house... good ol' fashioned singing around the piano. (I think I only got to do that once or twice...) More recently, singing with our friends, the Elliotts. I like that kind of stuff.

I've often thought about learning to play the piano. My sister did get to take lessons - or more as I remember it - was forced to take lessons. I don't even know if the option was given to me. I didn't much think about it then, if at all. Now, thinking about how much I love music...how I still remember a few tunes that I taught myself on the Casio of the late 80s/early90s... only one-handed, taken from trumpet sheet music.... how I've been told I might actually have "piano hands." (?! A compliment?! yes.)

Seeing my little girl pluck away with such delight. Showing us, the parents, some glimmer of a future full of music... hmmmm...

Funny. That a little moment before bathtime could have easily been forgotten. Thankfully, I had some help from across the world wide web to focus me.

**Note: these photos were taken today - just so you could see the piano we now have in our home. It's from John's parents' house. I'm not sure if it was his or Bill's or both, but it's Zoey's for right now. :)

More birthday pictures.

2010-07-03T22:47:00.002-04:00

Here are some quick pix for fun.
I love this shot of Z looking so intense... she's stacking dice on a toy car.

And I have, oh, some 1400 more photos that I haven't even looked at yet! I took some this evening of Zoey and Daddy playing in the new sprinkler. Tomorrow we are heading to Sun Valley for the Fourth... Happy Red, White, and Blue!!